9/11/01 ... The day dawned sunny & warm. To me, the day seemed normal. I happened to be off of work & planned to go watch our tower ladder get tested with the rest of the ground ladders. I didn't have the Tv or radio on. I went to the local WAWA store for my coffee & newspaper. As i walked in, a guy I knew came out all excited. He said a plane just crashed into the Twin Towers. Being close to New York, I figured that we might be needed to either respond or to cover a department. I left there & went to the station. That's when I heard a second plane hit the second tower. My first thoughts were that we are under attack. Then I heard that more planes were missing. I was dumbfounded. Who would dare attack us on our soil? My anger grew, as well as a nagging point of fear in the back of my mind. A couple of guys came by the station & we went to the day room to watch the TV.

The first thing we saw as we turned it on was the towers burning. We all knew people were trapped & that FDNY was on the job. We tried to figure out how they were gonna rescue them & fight the fires. Then it happened. The first tower fell. Not one of us breathed or blinked. It felt like a bad dream. We watched again & again as the tower collapsed & the people on the ground ran for their lives. More guys started to show up. We just sat & watched. We did not know at the time if the towers were full of people or that most got out. Talking amongst ourselves, we were seeing who would be able to if we were called. Then history repeated itself. The second tower collapsed. We stared in total disbelief. This wasn't happening! This had to be a movie from Hollywood. Then, the worse news hit: Hundreds of firefighters, police & ems workers were trapped. Then we heard about the Pentagon & that a fourth plane had crashed in PA, only a couple of hours from here. There was still talk of more planes missing.

Things started to get crazy. Schools closed, business shut down, all air traffic was grounded, people started to panic, etc. As the day slowly went on, facts & speculations started surfacing: we are at war; thousands could be dead & trapped; terrorists have shown that we are vulnerale; etc. Everyone sitting in the day room were stunned beyond belief. We couldn't talk. We couldn't think. We refused to believe what our eyes & ears saw & heard. The scanner we had was eerily silent, except for EMS & Fire Departments being paged out for a possible response. No crimes were being reported. No domestic squables being fought. It was like all normal day activities ceased. The horror that was unfolding in the country literally woke everyone up. Eyes were opened. Ears could hear. Hearts were crushed.

Finally, emotions started to kick in. I myself felt unbelievable anger for what was done; silent fear in the case that the terrorists weren't done; extreme sadness for the lives lost; happiness that I knew where my family were; love for The Brotherhood as we prepared for what we might have to do; pride of being an AMERICAN! We then got word from the governer that were not allowed to respond out of state. We were pissed at first, but then realized if we left, who would protect our homes? So, we settled in & waited & watched ... & cried.

The next few days were a blur. Tears were shed as more & more reports of lost Brothers surfaced. We did what we could, gathered together for support, helped any way we could. On the weekend that followed, I was at the station throwing some stuff into the dumpster when a lady approached me. I did not know her. I stopped & turned to her. She asked if I was a firefighter. I said yes & if I could help her. She told me that I already have. She was one of the survivors from the collapse & was rescued by a FDNY firefighter. She then asked if she could give me a hug. With tears in my eyes, as well as hers, we hugged. We parted & she thanked me for doing what I do. With that, she turned & left. At that moment i knew this was what I was meant to do. Not only was I proud to be an American, I was proud to be an American Firefighter! I will never forget that moment or how I felt for the rest of my life.

9/11/07 ... Six years later I sit here typing this. Many things have happened since that day. I found out that my one buddy from my old department was killed that day. He was a Port Authority cop, as well as a volunteer firefighter. He was doing what he loved when he died. Ground Zero once again has activity in it. This time, buildings are being built instead of destroyed. Our lives have changed. We are finally getting back some of our normalcy. However, on this day every year, we will remember the horror, the disbelief, the anger, the saddness, the joy, the love & the pride. We will remember loved ones lost. We will remember what it is to be an American when the country pulled together as one. We will remember our Brothers who gave the ultimate sacrifice that day. For as long as we live, WE WILL NEVER FORGET!