Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Trainer on February 11, 2009 at 7:29am

What everyone is telling you is good advice; you got to talk about it. The thing I’m concerned about is your not responding back to us, I know it’s a national forums, but we can help, the more you talk or type the more it helps. Another suggestion is talk to your or the company’s Chaplin, priest, rabbi or whom ever is your religious leader, he’s trained to deal with this. A lot of us have been their and although you never forget it, time heals

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Permalink Reply by jonathan on February 11, 2009 at 11:31am

well we are going to have a chaplin to come an talk to every one who was out there

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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on February 11, 2009 at 12:43pm

As Trainer said, time heals. Sometimes we want things to get fixed or healed right away, but often we have to let time take its course and do the healing.

I've also come to believe that part of what upsets me at these types of calls is the realization that whatever happened (accident, fire, whatever) could have happened to ME, or one of my loved ones or friends. It makes me realize that we're all human and have to die sometime, in some fashion. It tears away the "I'm indestructible" mask.

Also, keep going on calls; I have found that with each one - particularly with positive or neutral outcomes - the healing becomes a little more complete.

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Permalink Reply by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on February 11, 2009 at 1:04pm

Jonathan:
You do what you do because you don't want others to have to deal with the ugly side of helping with a very unpleasant task. If you aren't looking away or running away, then you have the strength to do it.
You'll sort it out and get ready for the next one.
But, don't fool yourself into believing that you have seen the worst one.
That one hasn't happened yet. So, you need to start preparing for it.
TCSS.
Art

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Permalink Reply by dj lee on February 11, 2009 at 1:09pm

Go talk to your fellow coworkers and or go to your chief and have him or her have someone come in and talk to you. Just try not to think about it .I know it's easyer said then done but just try.

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Permalink Reply by Asst. Chief GARY L. NEWMAN on February 12, 2009 at 12:52am

Remember this: YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT AND YOU CANNOT FIX IT Fatalities are never easy, you never forget them but you can get over them. Anytime you have this problem-talk to someone about it. Your Chief or any officer, maybe another firefighter will listen. Talk out your feelings, don't dwell on what happened, don't beat yourself up on "what ifs" or guilt feelings about what you or someone else might have done. If your dept. doesn't have a crisis counseling team or resource, maybe this is the time to start one. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to open up. We are human, we have feelings, thats why we are firefighters. I am available if you need to talk-reply and I'll give you an email.

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Permalink Reply by hailey on February 12, 2009 at 12:57am

pray about it.. Gods always listening.

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Permalink Reply by Fireyladd - Retired Chief Sharp on February 12, 2009 at 1:22am

Jonathan, first of ll your human and 2nd your not alone. The longer your in this service you will face many of these types on incidences. I am not sure where you are but talk with your local EMS agency or other fire agencies in your area. Chances are there is a Post Incident Stress Debriefing Team or someone who can get you directed to such a group. If not understand that this is perfectly normal and what your feeling is ok. It takes time, compassion from your fellow members and loved ones and support.We will gather together members of our agency when we encounter a call such as the one you had and talk about what happened and actually ask members if they are having problems or if they need to talk more about it. Mutual consideration and support is paramount to you getting through this. And you will. Just take time.

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Permalink Reply by Trainer on February 12, 2009 at 7:57am

I’m glad to see you respond, at least your listening. A couple of points Joe made, keep going on calls, get back on that horse; the one thing I love about this work is the mental relaxation, when you are performing a task, nothing else in the world is more important then that job at that point in time, all else is forgotten, call it a form of tunnel vision if you want, but its true. If it is the though of your own mortality, I am a firm believer that when it’s your time, could be sitting on the toilet, or venting a roof, it’s your time and you have no control over it, death is a natural part of life. Keep talking brother, were here to listen.

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Wright on February 12, 2009 at 9:08am

try talking to the guys on your dept. or one of the officers that might ease your mind

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Permalink Reply by Kyle Compton on March 10, 2014 at 10:21pm

Anyone every had a call that seemed "Trivial" but you couldn't shake it? a call that shouldn't bother you but seems to?

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Permalink Reply by Norm Tindell on March 11, 2014 at 9:48am

My coping mechanism most often is this: We (the fire department) did not cause whatever just happened. We're there to help the best we can and the outcome is what it is. As a team we talk about every run and support each other, never ever feeling guilty about what we did on the run. If someone says, "I think I could have done that differently..." we make sure before we end the conversation that what that person is feeling is not guilt, but only a desire to do a better job in a given situation in the future. We remember the past but do not dwell on it.

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