How can I prove my self and not let other females in the field get to me?

To start off my name is kayla. I have been in the Fire and EMS field for about a year not and i love it. I really want to make a career out of it. I have great support from people i love but i need some help on this one. I'm in my firefighter I class right now and I'm half way through. I'm in a class with another female to. She is nice and all but tends to have a reputation to be a flirt at the hall. Normally i one to let people probe me wrong on reputations but her's has turned out to be true, unfortunately. Whats getting me is i feel that her in the class is starting to effect my determination to prove my self. I'm not going to lie i'm a average size nothing amazing but i will work for this and give it my all. I know that i will not get away on looks and know that there will be things i can't do but i also know that there will be thing i can do that someone else can't. I know i can't single hardly raise a 28 extension ladder but put me in a tight space or high up and i'm fine. Just gets me every time cause i bust my but in class and she just skates by.

So how do i learn to deal with females in the field that may not have the same ambition as me to prove them self and gain respect the right way?

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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on July 25, 2009 at 2:56pm
By doing your job to the best of your ability....to hell with the rest of the nonsense that's going on....Stay safe...Keep the Faith....Paul
Permalink Reply by Fireyladd - Retired Chief Sharp on July 25, 2009 at 2:58pm
Kayla, you are not responsible for the other girls ignorance. That will prove out sooner then latter. Your hard work and effort earns you respect and respect is what you need not googly eyed boys. Unfortunately there are many young ladies that join departments just for that and they ultimately get hurt or disenchanted and leave. Your efforts and hard work will pay off in the long run. Good luck.
Permalink Reply by truckeewads on July 25, 2009 at 3:24pm
I think I am probably repeating what everyone else had said already but if you do your job, do it well and work hard, the people that matter will respect you for your abilities. Don't worry about everyone else, they will earn their own reputation...probably won't be good like yours.
Permalink Reply by Kayla on July 28, 2009 at 6:42pm
Thanks for all the responses everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been on in a while, but just to update you all, i have actually graduated my FFI. Thanks for all the support, it really got me through it. Now looking back i can really see how much I learned from her and the experience. I got to admit going through it was not fun or easy, but looking back now I'm glad I did. I find it funny looking back now cause in the mayday class I came to a problem and it so happen that it was only her and I who were available to lift this class mate who ways 350+ without gear. She ended up backing down and I took on the challenge. It all ended good, but if it wasn't for her I probably would have backed down. So if for nothing else I'm glad that she got me out of my comfort zone. I also in the end realized that, I really was been noticed and now that we are on our break till FFII class starts up in September i have been talking to the guys in class. I learned that as much as she was great to look at and and decent in class, they really were proud of me and more willing to work with me then her. But just thought I would let you alll know how that played out and also my dad got top marks in the class so I am very proud of him for that...considering we are the first father daughter team to go through the class in our county
Permalink Reply by Michael J Burke on July 28, 2009 at 7:46pm
Congratulations you and your dad should be so proud! Hard work pays off. I am sure your classmates respect you that much more now also. Strong work!
Permalink Reply by Becky on July 28, 2009 at 8:29pm
Congratulations on your FFI, and I wish you the best of luck on your FFII. I'm sure your father is very proud to have a daughter like you.
I am our chief's daughter at my station, and he is so proud that I am turning out to be one of our best females there. (there are only 3 of us girls there anyway lol) But I am glad that everything worked out ok for you in your class. (and thanks for this post. I was having a situation just like yours in my class as well, and now that I am going back to finish the last part of it next week, this topic has given me so much more determination to be not only the best I can be, but one of the best in the class period.)

Congratulations on FFI again. and as always, stay safe.

~Becky
Permalink Reply by Kathy Appleby on July 28, 2009 at 10:26pm
dont let her bother u or get to u. just b yourself. ive been involved w the EMS for bout 15yrs and now im a FF I (theres only 2 female FF in my dept the other 5 are EMS only). i went through the FF I classes and hands on as the only female there and the guys i worked w were great. They treated me equally. One of the instructors told his supervisor, in front of me, that he would take me as his back up any day and that he was very impresssed w the way i did things and would jump in first before the guys would. I know i have my limits (i'm 5'2 n 125lbs) but i will not put any of my fellow firefighters in jeopardy by doing something i know i cant. My Capt has asked me to join our RIT team which i think is great that he feels that i can do it. He also showed me alot of stuff n did some advvanced SCBA training w me during my probation cuz he said he knew i could handle it. I am also a Haz Mat Tech.

When i first joined i thought i would have to prove myself. The guys in my dept are all great they are all very helpful.

So dont let any other females ruin this for you. You are your own individual. Let her make her own mistakes because acting like that in this field will only lead to trouble for her.

Good Luck in your class. I know you can do it.
Permalink Reply by Eric Roberts on July 29, 2009 at 12:36am
KNOW YOUR S#it!!!!! its that simple 1 of the best ff we have had in my 18years has ben a women and she cam from up north .im in east tn right on the nc line in the mountains so she had a tuff road . she came here for school and joined up and turned out to make just about every 1 here look like an ass and she now has a masters deg. in sports med. full time ff-2 emt-iv just below Knoxville tn. she knew her stuff and put forth 200% .. I was her Lt. at the time and i would like to have a house full just like her today ... Go above and beyond . just do your job and do a good job at it and it will show...............I did not say do your best. Know the job .Love the job. Do the job. good luck
Permalink Reply by Christopher J Ostrander on July 29, 2009 at 12:50am
Bust your ass training and staying on top of things with your training and you will make her look like a fool when you get out. Just be careful on that and DONT EVER go in with her in a burning building. What you paid attention in class about flashovers and backdrafts while she was hitting on all the guys like an airhead could get her and whoever she runs in with hurt or dead. Sorry to be so blunt about it but I met a few like that and that ended the "running in with whoever because I am fresh out of training" stunts! Have any other questions email me and I will try to answer them!
Permalink Reply by Holly on July 31, 2009 at 1:46am
My situation is a little different than yours, but similar. The only other women in our dept. is the wife of another member. She does nothing on scene, attends no drills, only has one certificate in her file from an essentials class and still somehow makes her points to continue as a member. At first it really made me mad not because I was busting my butt and watched her do nothing but because she was giving a bad name to all females. One of the guys in the station told me how impressed he was with me for showing heart and determination to do the job. That pretty much put it in perspective for me.
You can't change someone else so don't bother worrying about it or trying. Keep up the good work and continue to be a plus not a minus for all the sisterhood.
Permalink Reply by Laurie Hicks on August 4, 2009 at 3:18am
The thing that comes to mind is this, your working for what u want shes not putting the effort in or letting her flirts get her by so when push comes to shove youve gotta be the one to prove yourself, no one is intersted in how much a woman flirts in the service there intersted in how much knowledge they have and how safe and productive they are on the fire ground, Dont let people like that get to you or stop you from following your own dreams, everything u learn in your training some day will effect your directly, and by allowing others to get to you its gonna make you miss something important, so work away and forget the other womans there if she doesnt wanna put forth the effort when it comes time to do the job at hand u can take charge and prove yourself, keep working away and remember do your best for you and dont let firehouse floosies get to you!!
Permalink Reply by Roy Blackburn on October 6, 2009 at 2:59pm
Hey, I can promise you that when things get down and dirty, them that have the internal fortitude to stay with the program will outlast and outshine those that don't. Don't get discouraged for that is the one demon that only you can fight. Being a firefighter is the one great calling that I almost missed. I didn't have any encuragement to join a department soon enough to become career. But I was able to assist in starting a volunteer department where I live. Great life, I just almost missed out. DO NOT GIVE UP OR GIVE IN.
Luck to yu. Roy B

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