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Comment by Michelle Robertson on March 9, 2009 at 3:30pm

I've been on a few of these calls myself. It's always hard. One in particular givies me nightmares from time to time. I firmly believe in having someone to talk to, a sounding board, a stress debriefer, whatever. Like Bruce says, it makes you stronger in the end. There is no shame in needing a hand, a shoulder an ear. If we keep it bottled in, it effects our lives and families.

Comment by Jeremy (j-dubbzz) Wenstrup on March 5, 2009 at 9:16pm

i was just out of high school when i joined the fire service. we got called out for an MVA, just a run of the mill car accident, one rear-ended another. i was running on the meat wagon that day, when we get on scene, i was on the crew that handled the car that did the rear-ending. when i open the driver's door, i see that it's a girl i knew from school...a hot girl, too. she recognized me and said "hey, jeremy. i'm sorry about this." she was embarassed because of the wreck. i told her not to worry about it, that we'd take good care of her. after looking around the interior of the car, we saw that the steering wheel was bent some. so we collar and board her, load her in the squad and start to roll to the hospital. since i was still in EMT school, i had to have someone in the back with me when we had a patient. well, my partner tells me we have to remove her shirt to check for d.c.a.p.b.t.l.s. due to the steering wheel damage. so i told her "well, missy, i'm sorry about this, but i have to cut your shirt off." remember i said she was hot? well, my partner was female and she got a big kick out of my hands shaking and my face turning red as i cut this hot girls clothes off. in the end, missy was ok, although we both almost died from embarassment. and my partner saved my dignity by not telling any of the guys that i was nervous to cut off a hot girls clothes. lol.

Comment by Robert on March 5, 2009 at 8:00pm

I responded to a Jeep Rollover that upon further scene size up turned out to be a cousin of mine. She did not make it, not due to lack of trying but internal injuries proved to be fatal after a long hospital stay. At first I was hard on myself. But after a while and a few talks with our chaplain I have discovered that I did everything that I could and so did the whole dept. Some things are meant to happen.

Comment by Oldman on March 5, 2009 at 6:34pm

The longer you stay in this business, the greater the chances are of this occurring. It might not happen as often in large metropolitan departments, but I have made girlfriends, classmates, and their families, and members of my own family. It is always a little harder when it's someone close. I always had the personal satisfaction of knowing that they were with someone they knew in a dire situation, instead of a stranger. I had the son of a close friend and fellow firefighter tell me at his fathers funeral, "Dad would rather have you taking care of him, than anyone else". "I know he was glad you were there with him".

I don't have any magical words of wisdom. If it is giving you trouble, talk to your clergy if you have one. A close friend or anyone you trust. Seek professional help if you need to. Otherwise, understand you do everything in your power to save a life, there is just a higher power who makes the decision on the outcome.

Comment by Bruce Mack on March 5, 2009 at 4:49pm

Ive been to a couple of these type of calls and in the end they ended the same way with the death of someone. It takes a toll on you, and sometimes you need to talk to someone about it, there is no shame in that, in in the long run it will make you stronger.

Comment by Beverly on March 5, 2009 at 9:40am

I think that at one time or another we all go on a call where we know someone, especially those of us that live in rural areas, everybody knows everybody else!
First the pros of the situation.
Pts find comfort in having someone they know care for them. It gives them confidence that they are safe, in good hands. Just the presence of a familiar face often relaxes a pt, they trust that you are giving them the best care (even though you would give the best care to a total stranger).
Now the cons:
When things don't go well it is h#ll on you. Been there, done that, more than once. We were called to a possible code, the deceased who I knew as an aquaintance had not told anyone her cancer was no longer in remission and I was very good friends with two of her friends and at her husbands request had to call them.
Then there was the time when a friend of my husband (fiancee at the time)was killed in a car accident.
Not to mention the night when one of our local police officers was hit by a car while at an accident.
One time it was the mother-in-law of one of our members, and there was nothing we could do to revive her.
Then you get the "regulars" the pts you see so many times that they become a friend. Usually they have chronic or terminal problems and you know it is only a matter of time.
So yes, it happens to all of us. Please, I know you said you are dealing with it, but take advantage of CISD (Critical Incident Stress Debriefing), talk about it, make sure that everyone who was on the scene is doing OK too. Especially in incidents where the rescuers know the victim or the victim was a child there is a high rate of post incident stress and this may manifest itself in many ways: inability to sleep, use/overuse of alcohol, drugs, irritability, any abnormal behaviors. It may also not show for several weeks, as everyone says, I'm OK and starts to consciously put the incident behind them only to subconsciously replay it. Also a similar incident in the future may trigger memories of the first incident causing strss.

Comment by anne potter on March 5, 2009 at 6:45am

I went on a car accident oh about 12 years ago it involved a older women and her grandchildren.. I went to work on one of the children and knew the other had passed.. While working on the one child I happen to look up and caught a glimpse of the older women they were loading into the rig... That night I made mention to my mother that it look like our friend down the street,but just got a quick look.. The next morning I found out that it was and that she was taking her grandchildren to the zoo.. She had a a attack of some kind and crashed .. It killed one of her grandchildren....

Car fire and watched a 17 year burn to death come to find out it was my brother in law's wifes brother....
I live in a small area and alot of calls I go on it people I know....
As I get older it becomes easier to deal with .. Younger I would get all teared up over these things...
I do what I can then go home to cry then when the tones go off I do it again...