Well it's been nine months since my wife told me she was pregnant. This will be our first. She actually sent me a text message, Saying "congrtulations dad!" I just happened to be pumping at a structure fire when I found out. So anyway, this weekend she is due to deliver our first baby.
I'm extremely excited, but also very nervous, i've never really spent much time around babies, so I will be learning as I go.we've spent countless hours, prepping the nursurey, shopping for stuff we need , and just getting ready for the ride of our lives. We both feel that if she is anything like either one of us we're in real trouble. I'm just figuring stubborn will be the middle name.I never thought much about having children, but i've spent many hours lately thinking of all the things i can't wait to do with them.discovering new things together. Teaching, playing, and acting like a kid myself sometimes. I know I have some time before these things will occurr, but i am excited.
I'm not excited about the sleepless nights , dirty diapers, or being in the delivery room for that matter " my wife won't bite her toungue on a good day, never mind when in labor".Most of all, I'm afraid that the devastation i've seen as a firefighter,the fires, car wrecks, fatalities, and close calls. the graphic nature of what we tend to deal with at any time, i worry that it has desensitized me to the point of not enjoying one of the great moments in ones life. the moment their child enters the world.I also worry about who i'll be on Monday, how this will change my life( other than the obvious). will I make the right decisons, or 20 yrs from now will my child need a team of psyciatrists to fix her, because her old man was a whack job.Only time will tell.
Don't get me wrong I am confident that my wife and I will be good parents, I know many people getting the job done, that many others didn't feel could. I just want to give our baby every oppurtunity in life to succeed, what ever that might be.