Let me start with something basic, expectation; even more basic, financial expectations. It is said that of all divorces about 90% of them are due to some type of financial reason. I would tend to agree with this, but what is that fiscal reasoning. I believe that it may be the lack of communication of fiscal expectation.

When we begin a relationship, it tends to be because of some kind of physical attraction or emotional need. We start out all giddy like school kids and tend to find ourselves “lost in the moment. This is not a bad thing, it is passion. This is an important emotion in our lives, especially in this field. Compassion is why many of us became involved in this service, we want to help others. Where the issue tends to go wrong in personal relations is when we forget about the purpose of and just ride that passion train until we are forced to get onto the reality train. Hopefully if you use the right tools the reality train car will just hook up to the passion train and you will continue down the track of life in a healthy growing relation. Unfortunately this is not always true so we must either change our tactic or allow it to continue down the track until the relationship derails.

At some point in a personal relation you need to have the money talk. You should allow both you and the other person to some how communicate what they see for a financial expectations. One of the best ways is to give your partner a sheet of paper. Have them sit in a room by themselves and write down their fiscal expectations for a long term relationship. Then you do the same; when you are both done trade papers. Allow the other to see what you feel and think. Now I am sure that many of us out there would love to have a fiscal dream of an abundant amount of money and that cash would not be an issue. NEWS FLASH, rich people can be bad at relations also! Money may make love more comfortable but it definitely cannot buy it.

Now that you have a foundation to work from that you both have in front of you. First, pull out the shared items (i.e. the home with green yard and white picket fence, hopefully.) Then start by dissecting your own fiscal expectations you wrote. What is SMART and what are dreams. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the term SMART goals they are goals that are Specific Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. Have your partner do the same. Once you have both dissected your expectations combine them together to see how you can reach each others expectations that are dependent upon finances. Start building out a plan, and poof you have a basic format for a budget or at least what is required for your budget so that you and your partner can reach your goals. Now, just like tactics on the fire ground, looks pretty simple on paper but making the true action happen can be challenging. That is where the hard work starts, don’t quit though.

You and your partner now are making the decisions together about financial expectations. You have built a plan and are communicating about it. Now, like I said before it is going to take hard teamwork to keep that plan going. Things happen in our lives that can drastically change our plans. This happens at fire scenes too. Adapt to the situation, talk to your “team” (partner) and make sensible choices that can get you back on track for those dream goals. The most important thing though is talk to your spouse/partner about these issues.

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” –George Bernard Shaw

Be safe and learn something new today.