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On scene first alone 10 min
The other night i was on my way home after just leaving the hospital. We where dispatched to an elderly man who hit his head. So I turn my emergency lights and siren on and go to the scene. My wife was in the car with me and I told her to drive to the end of the drive about maybe a quarter mile long so our trucks wouldn't pass it up. I just happened to grabbed some gloves while at the hospital thank god. i come through the front door and this man's wife is panicing. I finaly found him face down in blood not breathing. Im thinking shit. So i radioed in to dispatched and advised of the situation and started cpr. His color came back to him and the medics arrived. we got him loaded and on their way to the hospitial. I have a feeling he didn't make it but i know at least i tried. How does everyone else cope with deaths. I know at first i kept it all bottled in and it about cost me my marriage. I tried talking to our ems coordinator but that just started some more shit i know he meant well but... But after seeing so many fatatlities i have become kinda numb to death. I have finally somewhat accepted it. But yea I guess this blog was just to get this shit off my chest and i suppose to see how many times i can say shit. but anyway everyone stay safe
Jon
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Comment by Peter Lupkowski on November 20, 2007 at 2:46pm
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I am the "talk guy" in our station. Every time there is a bad (good?) call I hit up all the guys on the call and listen to them. I learn a lot and they get to vent. In return I usually get a sympathetic ear. My dad is retired so he can usually sense when I need to talk too. As with you I don't share with my wife. We usually don't talk about calls. How bout e-mail or a journal. It might be cathartic.
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Comment by Paul Montpetit on November 17, 2007 at 7:40am
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Hi, I am a member of the CISM team and go to departments all over the state for counseling...its healthy to talk things out as soon as possible....Face it this is one rough bussiness we choose to take part in...its a fact that people are going to get hurt and some are going to die...personally I, for one, don't ever want to become totally numb to that...its like bringing a child out of a fire (recovery) How can anyone be numb about that..? Find someone you can talk with and discuss the issues.....Take care....stay safe and keep the faith...........Paul
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Comment by YOU GO, WE GO on November 16, 2007 at 8:04pm
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i feel the same way. in just the past 2 weeks i've been on 2 code blues, both didnt make it. all i can say is, AT LEAST I TRIED & DID MY BEST TO SAVE A LIFE
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Comment by firerev on November 16, 2007 at 6:46pm
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Jon, find someone outside the department to talk to about what you are feeling. What you are going through is normal but is hard for other responders to deal with sometimes. (Maybe we think we will catch it). Find a counselor or pastor to talk to but get it out. You are wise to want to process this stuff.
For everyone else reading this, every department needs to have someone who is watching out for people like Jon. It's important to have the support of those in charge for this kind of resource in the department and unfortunately not all are supportive. Before the big one hits is the time to talk about how we can take care of each other and know when it is time to ask for help from the outside. We spend a lot of time reminding each other to take care of our physical health. It is also important to take care of our emotional and spiritual health as well.
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