Sexual Relations at the Fire House

It just so happens our Captain is having sex with a Probationary FF, she is now a rookie, past the Practical and Final exams. I believe the Officers should be held to a higher standard. Thoughts?

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Permalink Reply by Oldman on June 21, 2010 at 5:33pm

"What happens if favoritism starts happening"

What happens when it happens? Perceived or real, it will occur. It will get ugly. Volunteer organization or not, there is a phrase which you, your members, and the administration should get real familiar with: Hostile Work Environment

I may not be able to control who someone sees when away from the station, but around the stations, I will not allow "public displays of affection", nor will both members be scheduled together on a overnight shift. If there are married couples, they are not scheduled together. Yes, I am an ass when it comes to this subject. I've only seen this type of situation work once in the last 30+ years.

Besides, if we are all brothers and sisters, that would make it....well you get the point.

Permalink Reply by Timothy Wiza Jr on June 21, 2010 at 5:43pm

I hear ya I would be the same ass, our officers dont understand the word non bias they execute SOP/SOG against the FF's that are not in their little clicks pisses me off to no end

Permalink Reply by Felicia A Cranford on June 22, 2010 at 9:41am

Were the two of them dating before the "fun" started, likeare they actully in a relationship? Even if, you are correct. There shouldn't be any of that. But you can't really stop it if they were in a relationship but people who are to be leading the rest should have enough respect to know that this is something that others arn't going to like and it just shows the others that it's ok to be like this so it starts an outbreak of unthinking actions.

Permalink Reply by Timothy Wiza Jr on June 22, 2010 at 4:03pm

They were not in a relationship until she was hired in at our firehouse, She started threnting Sexual harassment and look we we are today

Permalink Reply by Felicia A Cranford on June 22, 2010 at 7:19pm

How would she say anything about sexual harassment if they were sleeping togeter? Is it a paid or vol dept? I have had a lot of issues with people not thinking about their actions but you can't scream red when the color is blue. Do you think she was just trying to get hired and then wanted it to stop maybe?

Permalink Reply by Timothy Wiza Jr on June 22, 2010 at 7:58pm

We are a Volunteer Dept but that should not make a difference I believe volunteer dept should be run like full time have some sort of structure. I can not make a ruling on whether she wanted to get hired and then make it stop. I just dont know. I would like my Chief (Jelly Fish) to get a back bone and deal with this once and for good.

Permalink Reply by Aimee Johnson on June 24, 2010 at 2:04pm

As a female FF, I have to say this is very disturbing. I agree with Amanda and FFchick. It is hard enough to prove yourself in this career, and then to have some of those take complete advantage of the situation really pisses me off. I have always demanded equal treatment to the male FF. I don't feel i should be treated any different than the rest of the guys...and fortunately my chief feels the same way. He informs our Rookies..."She's no longer a lady when she walks through these doors...then she's a firefighter" I feel that should stand for EVERYONE. We trust our lives to these people...we can't be divided AT ALL!!! I have been on a dept like that before and it was very unnerving to approach a scene when you don't fully trust the person standing behind you.

As for the officers, in this job, they ARE the managers of the dept. In any other business, this would be completely forbidden. There is no excuse for any of it. Not only does it look bad on the dept, but the entire community. Because, whether you want to believe it or not, the information has gotten out. And sadly, people judge by the juiciest gossip they can find. It's never the things we want them to remember. Have you and the others that feel this way approached your chief to express your concerns? Does he not realize that this is putting your safety at risk? Maybe a group of you should get together and talk to him to find out the best way to solve this problem if he isn't listening to you individually. Then, maybe he will feel more like he has the support of his team and might try to grow that spine he needs.

Permalink Reply by Lani on June 24, 2010 at 2:42pm

Agreed, no matter if we are paid or dedicate our time to a volunteer organization we need to have some sort of structure and a level of professionalism. Whether she wanted to be hired or not, personal relations should not have been the course of action to get to where this is today. I'd almost say it's time to pressure the Chief into growing a backbone on the subject if he wants to deal with it or not, it's his job.

Permalink Reply by Holly on June 27, 2010 at 10:57am

Personaly this situation hits a little close to home for me. I joined our department looking to be an equal and was happy to find that my guys treated me like one of the guys. Through the course of it all I started dating an officer. It had nothing to do with him being an officer, just putting that out there. It doesn't seem that this has changed any of the guys veiws about me. Some of the new guys have seemed alittle intimidated when they first found out but once they got to know my boyfriend and I they found that at the fire house we are fire fighters. He is an officer and I am a grunt. Truthfully the only problem we have is that he doesn't like me doing interior attack and truck work. Yet he understands and accepts the fact that I have the training and ability to do the job and that the other guys will take care of me the same as we all look after our brothers and sisters. I am expected to do everything that they are expected to do. Maybe we are the exception to the rule or maybe we are proof that it can work. I think the key is being able to leave the personal stuff at the door when you enter the fire hall and vice versa.

Permalink Reply by Timothy Wiza Jr on June 27, 2010 at 11:30am

I personally would welcome that same situation here but it doesnt seem to be happening.

Permalink Reply by Felicia A Cranford on June 27, 2010 at 1:00pm

Holly thats awesome for you. I too am a big part of my department and seen as a leader and am dating a probie however in our situations we are actully dating and are in a relationship with our honeys... It is a little more professional then just doing the nasty with someone at a place like a fire dept/work environment and that is more of what Tim was refering too in his post. I really think that relationships in fire depts can work, I have seen them work out good too. A friend of mine from our sister dept is actully marrying someone she met at the dept and he proposed to her on scene and all so relationships form and can make for good times however acting on sexural desires and keeping it just about that isn't something that will turn out good. Most sex/relationships turn out really bad and look very negative in the fire service. Stuff like that can actully pull a dept apart and bring the dept down if it is a bad enough situation. I think I have already anwsered but yes Tim officers should be held to a higher standard but really everyone should have that professionism and respect the fire service enough to watch what they do and realize the effects it can have on all of us.

Permalink Reply by edward monahan on June 27, 2010 at 4:37pm