I lost a close friend close enough that she was like a sister to me . She was in a very bad roll over accident yesterday on 2/1/12 , she swerved to miss another car and lost control of the truck and it rolled. She was ejected from the truck and was pronounced dead on scene, the passanger was flight lifted to denver with major injories . Ive been in the fire service for about 14 yrs now and i lost my nephew about a year ago and now iv lost my friend , iv seen alot of things but when i seen the truck it hit me ( hard) it just make's me want to get out, my head  says yes and my heart says no



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Your department should have access to a grief counseler. I would get in contact with them and see if it can help.

Excellent answer Seely.

First and foremost, My deepest sympathies.  It doesn't have to be a grief counselor, but please talk to someone you trust and can confide in.  Death, although it is a part of life is hard for anyone to deal with and my opinion on your next career move is nothing compared to how you deal with this emotionally.  If you ever need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to contact me.  I'm not a professional counselor but I am a professional listener.

Best advice for you right now brother, coming from a brother who has personal experience in this, get help now.  Go and talk to anyone and everyone.  Get the chief to do a debriefing, or group counseling session.  It will help, and send me a PM if you need to talk.


your friend wouldnt want you to give up the job you love, i have lost many close people in my life and at times i felt like giving up but i know they wouldnt want me too, a good way to deal with grief is if you dont want to talk to  councilor, write it down , i express what i go through in poetry , writing and poems. i hope you dont give up, hang in there, your friend will be proud of you :)

The Moose knows, Wade knows, Shareef knows and Sarah knows at the time of my posting a response. What do they know? How important it is for you to talk about it, don't internalize it and remember, you did not cause it to happen. If you go there then things like this will eat you up alive.

Instead, find ways to celebrate her life and to make sure folks never forget. Find outlets to enable your grief to be absorbed by life that you have been blessed with having on your side. The good lord will not give you more than you can handle. Tackle this and you will be able to help others, reaching out a hand to say, it's going to be ok. It's what people who have been there and done that know. You cannot take this one on by yourself.

Celebrate life, don't mourn it. Live my friend, live.


once again thank you all for being there for me in time of need you are brothers indeed , but like i said im not ready for this at all , but i have to be ready and for those of you that offerd to just listen well i will let you know after tomarrow. thanks again

    Ordway vol-fire dept

            douglas hudson

Anytime brother, and listen to Captain Mike, he is very knowledgeable about these things.  Contact me anytime to talk, I have been through a lot of this and I ended up holding it in, it cost me dearly and I am still paying for it but I keep my head high.  Anything that happens to me today, my brothers and sisters know about it right away and I talk it out.  If that doesnt help I bring it to god and pray every day.

Brian "Moose" Jones

Captain, Carlisle FD, Schoharie County NY.

Send me a PM and I will give you my email address so we can talk if you want to.

Hang in there.


Brother, I myself was put in your shoes 11 years ago. Three and a half years into my fire service career i was a ff/emt, and gave it all up. I woke up to find my oldest son lifeless in his crib. I commenced in with CPR and screaming at the 911 dispatcher to hurry up that my son was dead. To make a very long story short i lapsed into a deep alcohol induced depression, let my emt certs lapse. I have realized over the years it was out of my hands from the word go. i tried to deal with it on my own ( hints the alcohol ). I regret every day that i was out of the fire service. and now i go talk to my pastor and a counsler to assist me with dealing with this. i have learned that life must go on and i am back to helping people like i wanna be doing.


Charles, give me a PM and we can exchange emails.  I lost my son at the age of 2 to a premature infant disease and it killed me.  If you want to talk give me a shout brother.


Maybe someone should start a chat group about this stuff and we can all share our experiences, does one exist already? (on firefighter Nation I mean, one of the groups)


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