Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jason Brooks on October 24, 2009 at 8:48pm

Just be yourself, who cares. If you can do the job, then do it. If this is how he is going to treat you, go to the Chief and he should be fired. Plain and simple. There is no room for this crap in the firehouse.

Permalink Reply by Rusty Mancini on October 24, 2009 at 8:49pm

Caroline, I think the first thing you need to do, is sit down and talk to the Chief about your situation. There is this thing In the fire service, called trust! You stated that someone told your department that you were gay. Now the Chief found out the same way, instead of you being the one to tell him. Now I know that is your business and if you didn't want anyone to know, well it sounds like they were going to find out anyway!

Trust is what we brothers and sisters count on in this business. The Chief will has some issues to deal with, so the best thing to do at this point is to meet with him and start being honest with him first.

Permalink Reply by Adam L. Culp on October 24, 2009 at 9:20pm

It shouldn't matter what you do in your private life,we as firefighters should always be poen to whomever is on the department

Permalink Reply by Jessica Travis on October 24, 2009 at 11:18pm

For the first part of this year the president of our junior firefighters was a gay guy and when he joined the other guys talked about him in quiet hushed conversations and were quiet as soon as he walked in. He eventually told them something to the effect of im gay im proud and if you dont like it i dont care. This guy is one of my best friends and it doesn't bother me at all that he's gay. Now im speaking from a straight girls point of view but i really dont care take who you take to bed (to use your words) its none of my business. I know i wouldn't want to be ridiculed for such private matters, so i would never in a million years do that to another person. Next time your up there walk in with your head held high, tell them yes your a lesbian and if they have a problem they can talk to you about it off duty because you dont have time for elementary school name calling.

Permalink Reply by ffbam24 on October 25, 2009 at 1:39am

Caroline,
First off, good for you on being brave enough to come out.
Next, you have become part of one of the most entrenched homophobic professions out there. I hope you find a middle ground and can stick it out.

I gotta say that it sounds kind of sketchy how this one guy managed to add you as a friend on FB. Several articles out there advising against "friending" co-workers and such. Or at least being selective of those that you do. You may also want to check your privacy settings on there, as you may currently have your profile available for everyone to see. One doesn't need to have their lives so public.

Chances are that your chief already knows what everyone else does, albeit unnecessary for any reason.
Careful too that the one guy who started all this was trying to eat where he sh!ts. Normally I would recommend to use the chain of command, but in this case, you may need to go straight to the chief. At least make him aware of the situation that has come up. Volunteer or not, you are entitled to a harassment free workplace. There's ballbreaking, but this doesn't really fall into that definition.

Now here's the hard part for you; let it go. If you react, it will just give the fellas more ammunition. If they see their comments don't phase you, they'll move on to something else. And trust me, something else will come along.

Concentrate on your job, become good at it, and your orientation won't even be an issue. Because it shouldn't be.

Good luck.

Permalink Reply by Jeanine on October 25, 2009 at 2:34am

I am not gay but I do believe in equal treatment for everyone (I have freinds who are gay/lesbian). I would definatly go to my chief and talk to him..What that guy did and said is HARRASSMENT! This guy needs to be set straight. Aparently he has not grown up and is still stuck in jr/sr high school. If something like that would of happened in my dept, disciplinary action would have been taken. I know that you said you were new and i guess you probably don't wanna "rock" the boat but laws and policy/proceedures are in place to protect EVERYONE!! No matter if you have been there 3 days or 3 decades. If anything, Your cheif should set up a anti-harassment training (if not done so thus far) and make sure that everyone realizes this is serious . My dept has not gone through an "official" harrassment training program but everyone knows that if there is a complaint, it will be taken seroiusly and disciplinary action will take place. In todays society this crap shouldn't even be going on. I do live in a small town (population 1200) and yea, there is always talk and when stuff like this happens it just makes me realize how ignorant people are. I know I have rambled but I hope this helps. Good Luck in your decisions...

Permalink Reply by Fred Cummings, Jr. on October 25, 2009 at 6:58am

Caroline I must agree with Kali Goddess of Destruction, your avatar does not help here. Kudos to you for taking the stand on this. You must have known this issue would surface someday, honestly it's better that it was sooner rather than later. I don't think you should have to prove yourself to anyone in the house as long as you are qualified and fit to fight. Yes, being new you want to feel accepted and this issue is making it tough right now but this is the time for your officer and or Chief to step up and put and end to the ridicule. The last thing you want to do is hold a grudge on the fire ground. You never know; the FF who instigated this just may be the ass you have to save. Keep your head up and stay focused on your job.

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth Ellynn Brooke on October 25, 2009 at 9:06am

It should not matter who you are or where you are from or if you are straight, Bi, Gay. Your fellow crew should respect you and if they are already giving you a hard time, then you should go talk to your chief about the situation. Don't worry about the guys having something to say if they find out you did say something to the chief. You should stand up and do what you have to so that you can feel content in your work place. Don't let them men push you around and make you feel bad. Especially if you are new. I am here if you need anyone to talk to and support you with your situation.

Elizabeth :P

Permalink Reply by FETC on October 25, 2009 at 10:30am

Caroline,

People in the fire service, are afforded the same workplace rights as any place of employment. Therefore regardless of volunteer, call or paid, it is not tolerable. Most communities have a zero tolerance towards workplace harrassment. Many volunteer organizations or non-profits have had similar harrassment claims with serious implications.

Now I suggest because you are so new to the department and you describe the situation as the whole department knows, that you ask to speak to the fire chief directly. I would suggest that you explain the situation, more often times, the boss is not in tune with what is happening on the floor. If this is the case, explain your situation professionally and ask for guidance of how the matter can be rectified. Once you have informed him of the harassment, he now has a duty to act. If he is on top of his game and understands the severity of the matter, he will seek guidance from his boss or HR, identify the problem, review the situation and personnel involved and then they can coordinate a plan to correct the issue. This most often results in additional policies and training on workplace harrassment because more often than not there are none and the announcement of zero tolerance with disciplinary action, criminal investigation and/or termination. This process will probably upset some... meaning some will be offended to the additional policy or training but always remain professional throughout the process.

Review your own words and actions (said in the past) to be sure you are not contributing to the matter further. Document yourself, any comments and meetings with the chief, and see if he can handle the situation or not. If in a reasonable amount of time, you feel he is doing nothing or can't fix the problem you have three options....

Accept the conditions, quit or fight for your rights. The first two are probably not acceptable, so your next step would be the HR Director or Town Manager. Start over with the same professional attitude and along the way document any witnesses to any additional said harrassment. Dates, times, places, names and what was said or done to you.

Any serious Fire Chief would nip this in the bud immediately, and realize that this is a huge liability to you, him, the fire department, and the entire town.

A good fire chief and officer staff solve this issue in house pretty quickly... best of luck.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Turner on October 25, 2009 at 12:14pm

This is a major sexual harassment issue. Take it to the chief immediately. This is clear as day a hostile working environment. If these men have acted this way with any other people they don't like of other sexes, religions, or colors, then I can imagine what the place is like. There is no excuse for this whether you are a day on the job or thirty years on the job.

Permalink Reply by Ron Ayotte on October 25, 2009 at 3:56pm

Caroline... this is a blatant case sexual harrassment, even if you were heterosexual. Do a screen capture of what he posted on your facebook page, report the offender and let your FD's administration handle it.

Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on October 25, 2009 at 5:30pm

I think most departments stick with the old..."don't ask, don't tell" theory....I am NOT saying this is right...there are many homophobics in this big wonderful (yeah, right) world....it is not a fair nor a right situation but one cannot fight ignorance.....Just be yourself and do your job...that's the important stuff....Good luck, stay safe......Paul

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