Do any of you have family thats in fire and/or EMS and if you do is it harder to keep business separate from family if both of you have been on bad calls since some people deal with stress differently.
I bunch of men in my family are in the fire service. I found that they in general seem to flood more quickly than I do and get overwhelmed faster than I do when discussing the stressful components of calls. There were times that I wanted to discuss it and process through stuff further and they were SO OVER talking about it.
One of the things that bothered me from my family members who were also fire/rescue was when they experienced a call differently than I did, there were moments when I felt they lacked compassion for my experience. Under the rule, I didn't experience that, so it is not a issue for me... so it should not be an issue for you. Since they are my family, I expected them to put more personal effort into understanding - however, as rescuers themselves it is also essential to sometime to say "that is your issue, not mine, and I can not take on anymore."
The reverse was also true, I am sure I lacked compassion at times towards my family members, due to my own load and different experiences. Such as my one brother struggles with kid calls in a way that I don't; while I hate the smell of burning human flesh, but it never bothers my brother.
It becomes essential to NOT take it personally and realize that one person can not be all things to all people... sometimes they have to shift roles and in that role shift the expectations towards that person must also shift. What I expect from my brother is different than I expect from my colleague who happens to be my brother; or what I expect from my husband is different than what I expect from my colleague who happens to be my husband.
My son is also a volunteer with a dept in our county, was really proud watching him go through ff1 a few years ago , my grandfather, uncle, and cousins were all chiefs and members of volunteer dept not far from where i am at now , i guess it really is a genetic thing and no problems we all belong to a diffrent dept and we get scolded for talking fire dept stuff at family functions lol also future son in law belongs to my dept.
I have a brother thats one of my line officers,we dont spend alot of time together out side of the fire dept. My dad was in the volunteer dept but moved and never got back into it. My grandfather retired from the fire service along time ago.I also have another brother that in in the fire service in California. We are all around but together when a call comes in you cant tell the difference.
My father, brother, step brother, three uncles, and two cousins. All of us were or are very active. One cousin is currently assistant Chief. All of the same volunteer department. Some have retired, some have passed and one cousin has moved away but continues the tradition and is also a medic in his "new" department.
I have found it to be a advantageous to have family members in the fire service. Although we all have had different amounts of time served, and our perspective on incidents can be different, I use this as an oprotunity to learn. We discuss scenes and incidents in several fashions including debriefing and critique. I feel that we all have and/or continue to learn from each other and really listen to our individual experiences. It also makes getting up in the middle of that big family gathering to answer a call easier, cause our wives , although maybe pissed, are able to be pissed together rather than alone. LOL! :) It makes returning home easier sometitmes to know that my brother is getting the same dirty look I am...
My Father and Uncle were members of a local department years ago, but now me, my brother and sister (joined last night) run from the same department! My father is retired and thinks its great but my Mom she is still adjusting. Everytime the pager goes off she starts to pray out loud till we all get back... the best is when its just an annoucement and we dont get up and leave she'll say: "Our Father... Oh thank heavens!"