So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 

 

"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)

 

"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)

 

So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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We had a burner one night and IC call for more units dispatch ask what was needed and he responds to put the wet stuff on the red stuff lol
"Did you get the name of that deer that hit me?"
No need to say more..... Hehehe
Aw....
Oh my gosh!!!!!!! Now co-workers are looking at me funny cause I can't stop laughing....... I promise I will not do as you say.... Just do as you do... hehehehe
Sad, yet oh so funny.... Please don't stop....
Guy in my dept, after trying to contact dispatch repeatedly to give an arrival report and not getting through, when county finally answered him replied "disregard, im busy" when he was getting the truck set up
I think I would have to pull over on that one.
Back in the fall we were paged for a field fire. Upon arrivel I found that it was just dust from a combine, So I put out a disreguard. A soon as I put out the disreguard another department which was paged for automatic aid for the area keyed there mic and over the air came the words WTF. From what I understand the driver of the brush truck was going to say clear on the disreguard. But a car ran them off the road just as he keyed up and it was the firefighter in the seat next to him was a little excited. Well my captain and asst chief pulled up and from the looks I could tell they were thinking it was me. I quickly set them straight it was not me.
the top of my list...A neighboring F.d en route for mutual aid on a large structure fire in the early morning hours You could see the flames for miles. An officer keys up and says " that aint the sun comin up boys!" Another time we were toned out for a MVA in the dead of winter the roads were a mess. everyone calls en route to the station. one guy immediatly disregards his en route traffic. later some one radios for all units to give their location that particular firefighter says " in the ditch." You could here the disgust in his voice. still hears that one to this day.
To set up the story, law enforcement here utilizes blue lights.


During a thunderstorm a couple years back we had a microburst that did significant damage in our first due. We left a downed lines call with the town PD to handle a reported structural collapse also in town. We arrive to find a huge tree in a house with significant structural damage, and an elderly homeowner clutching his chest Fred Sanford style. We also had a number of power lines hanging about car windshield high in the roadway, so I ask for ems for the patient and law enforcement to shut down the roadway. We've been on scene for about two minutes and no less than 10 cars drag the powerlines on their roof just driving by.

A few minutes later dispatch comes back and says "PD is tied up on multiple calls, can you advise the reference for law enforcement?" I reply "We have multiple lines down in the roadway, and I am unable to position our apparatus to effective seal off both sides of the danger area." Dispatch comes back and says "Do you want us to get Highway Patrol enroute?" I replied "I really don't care who responds, as long as they got blue lights on the roof."
Now these didn't occur with our dispatch....we'll just i guess call me accidental


Ok, i need to give a little back story to this first one. As a part of being a member of my department, we are required to go out and do home fire safety inspections, looking for things that my, or have in the past started fires. So our crew(s) we en route to our area of town to do inspections, one crew was in one of our pumpers, and the other crew was in our equipment van. I'm riding in the pump, and all of a sudden you hear the captain that's riding in the van, start talking and he was going on with this story, and unbeknownst to him, he had his mic keyed, and all of us and everyone who had a radio, heard his story, which ended with "this big f@%ker took him down!" which was promptly followed by our chief yelling into the mic "Captain (his name here) GET OFF YOUR MIC!! we all heard your story"

The other incident occurred a few months later.....one of our captains was at the fire hall with a fellow firefighter after a call, and he had on a pair of coveralls, and had his radio on the inside of his breast pocket, and somehow managed to key his radio at the same time he was say "that son of a b!#ch" again was followed by our chief "watch what you say when your radio is keyed PLEASE!"

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