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Bad Call
Yesterday while on duty i ran a call on a 11 year old girl that had hung herself from a tree. Did everything i could to try and revive her but she was in the tree to long. What upset me the most was i cant understand why a 11 year old would want to do something like that. No to mention that i could not save her.i have never had a call affect me, and i have run on some really bad ones, but that one did. Would appericiate if you guys could say a prayer for the girl and her family.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rusty Mancini on
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Blake, from the responses on here, a lot of us understand and know the thoughts that can run through one's mind after running a call like this. You did what your training allowed you to do, and that's all one can do! Sometimes it's out our hands as bad as we want to be able to try and save one's life.
My prayers will be with her family and you.
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Permalink Reply by Jason Knippers on
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Blake,
First off, my prayers are with you, everyone else that worked the call, and the girl and her family. I have been a Youth Pastor for 15 years and am also a Chaplain and Firefighter with my dept. I'm also a counseling student and have been trained in CISD. Even those calls we don't think will affect us can and do. I've talked to enough of the old guys (and young guys) to know that.
If you wish, I can get with my network of Chaplains and CISM members and I will find someone for you to talk to. It's NOT a psychoanalysis or a blame game, just someone to listen without judging. Or, I'm even willing to drive to Wilmer and we can talk. I'm in Georgia.
As far as why she did it- I can't tell you that. Sometimes we will never know what someone is facing- how lonely and abandoned they feel. Having worked with youth for 15 years, even some of the ones who put up the bravest faces and most outgoing acts are the the most lonely. I can also promise you that it is not only you who are dealing with this. In a small community, which it sounds like yours is, I can guarantee you the rest of your dept, the medics, and even a large part of your community can be affected in something like this.
Please let me know what I can do to help.
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Permalink Reply by Francis L. Cook Jr. on
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My thoughts are with you... my prayers are with you. My brotha'...my brotha'... Babygirl is in a better place...you and your crew did their (your) best. Remember...9111 will always be called and that save will be there. Just drop a prayer for her and the family whenever it runs across your mind. If need be (my suggestion) seek out assistance. It will be/ and is all good my Brother.
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Permalink Reply by Justin R. Fank on
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I can say some prayers for her family, her friends, as well as yourself for having to go through this type of a call. You do make a good point on why would an 11 year old girl hang herself from a tree like that. What was going on in her family life? Did it have anything to do with her friends? Or was there a great depression that she was going through? I mean there is so many questions that can be asked, but will never be able to find the answers to them. Wow that is really sad to hear about this. I do want to say a word of prayer on this reply, please no one get offended by me typing up this prayer that are of other religions.
Lord I want to ask that you be there for this little girl's family, for her friends, and also please Lord be there for the fire fighter(s) and EMT's that responded to this call. Please Lord also be there strongly for Blake Sexton who posted this thread in the forum about the way this call had affected him in a personal way. Lord Jesus only you know the answer on what really happened to this young girl. I just want to ask Lord that you keep everyone strong and give them a strong heart to cope with feelings they had gone through with this call. We all know Lord that when we became fire fighters that we would have to deal with the possibility of making a discovery of people that have passed away whether it be from fires or medical calls. Lord please just watch over everyone and be there for the families and friends that lose loved ones. In your name I pray -Amen-
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Permalink Reply by Matthew Powers on
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Amen.
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Permalink Reply by emtprincess on
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Nobody but the girl knows why. I can understand your feelings. Had a call like this but the girl was 16. It turned out better then yours but what kind of life does she have now due to lack of oxygen.....not a good one. Sorry you had to go through that.
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Permalink Reply by WestPhilly on
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Blake,
I'm not picking a fight here (you're not the first to post one of these "bad call" discussions) but I just don't get the drama. Having responded to literally hundreds of fires in the last twenty years - not to menton accidents, shootings, beatings, stabbings, suicides, etc. - I'm still waiting to be "affected" by one. And I think I'm not the only one. We were talking about CISD at the station recently (at change of shift, so there were more than twenty guys involved, most of whom had less time on the job than me but some with as much or more). Not one of us had ever (assuming we were being honest) even needed to "talk about our feelings" much less been involved in a CISD. Only a few of us were even aware of a CISD team being activated and those instances involved multiple LODD incidents.
I know there's a trend in the fire service today that encourages us to not hold things in, that it's OK to feel bad. And that's fine. But at the same time I believe that trend is contributing to the suggestion, if you will, that incidents are SUPPOSED to affect us. I'm here to tell you that's straight bullshit. If you catch a job where an entire family is wiped out, it's also OK to go back to the station, finish lunch, watch the rest of the game, and then go out and have a couple of cold ones with the fellas after work. And I'm not talking about drowning in your sorrows, I'm talking about having a good time. It seems a lot of people think you almost have to sit there with your face in your hands, practically grief-stricken.
My gut feeling is that most people who claim they've been affected by a call are simply saying what they think is now expected to be said. The one's who truly are affected I think, for the most part, are probably in the wrong line of work. That's not the same as saying ALL or that there is no place for CISD. But I think it's mostly over-blown. (Not to mention the fact that some studies indicate that CISD in not only ineffective, but counter-productive).
Just my take on it.
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Permalink Reply by Derek R. on
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Hey Blake. You know what? This one just had a little something about it that you related to I believe. It is still fresh in your mind, so of course you will still be thinking about it. Especially since she was a child. Noone likes to see children hurt or worse. You mentioned that you ran other "bad" calls that did not affect you. Give this one a little more time, it will get better. Like you,I, (and most everyone in here), have ran ugly calls which I was unaffected by. then, one day it was a simple motorcycle accident, and for some reason (familiarity), it kept coming into my mind. It actually took a couple weeks to clear itself, and it's all good now. Just give it some time, since this is the first call that affected you, then if your problem persists, seek help. This is just an offering of my opinion.
Just remember to think and feel only as you can. Don't let others' opinions dictate your emotions. It's great to ask for help, and many will come to your side, but at the end of the day, only you know what you need. Sounds cliche, but that's how it is. And like everyone has already said, You did all that you could do, the best you could have done. Good job on that. It's unfortunate for sure, but there will be many more people that will need you in the future. Keep your head.
Wish the best for you bro.
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Permalink Reply by zack on
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I disagree. You make a dedication to your community to go to a fire scene save people then property. at a PI accident you are using jaws of life to get that person out safely. without firefighters there to get that individual out they would probably lose their life.
unfortunately there is no possible way to save a life in this case. prayers are going out to the family and you Blake
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Permalink Reply by Fireyladd - Retired Chief Sharp on
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Blake, I will sure pray for the family involved but I will also pray for you. Bro, I have been there in your shoes more times then I care to remember. Those calls just hit you and some times blindly! You did everything you could do to save her but it just wasnt to be. Sad that it happened but you did everything within your ability an power to give her a chance. Bro we do this every time but its God that sorts them out and when its time ITS TIME. Understand that you didnt cause this situation and sadly we are not always able to change a situation. However we bear the weight or memory of what happened. Keep your chin up bro. You did a professional job. Its just going to take time to process this one.
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Permalink Reply by FETC on
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Blake, I have provided CISD to fire departments before. You must first understand you are not alone with your feelings. If your department didn't do a critical stress debriefing shame on them, Your department is lacking leaders who care about their personnel. (unfortunately it has been a few days since this call) Debriefing should be done early on and especially on children calls.
As Ralph mentioned, we don't save people we assist them out of their problems. Right place right time and sometimes our efforts are positive or considered heroic. You didn't cause or contribute to the childs injury or death, so you couldn't have been asked to do more. You did your best and I commend on your fast response to the call, and providing the utmost care in a dignified way. I am sure you would have done the same for your loved one. So again, you did all you could my friend.
So I suggest speaking to your peers, talk about the call. Talking helps. If they didn't provide you with a route to talk, seek a friend, or seek clergy (if you are a church person) if not, seek your personal doctor and make an appointment to talk. They can actually help with your needs, and most often will just talk without giving you medications. You need help through this event... I have been in your shoes my friend.
Your department should have access to FREE help from their workers compensation insurance company, call the fire chief or the human resource director for the town and ask for the 1-800 number for EAP - Employee Assistance Program which is mandated by federal law. You can call the 800 number to talk to a counselor at no charge, they can also offer assistance from other professionals which would be confidential.
Feel free to email me and we could even talk over the phone if needed.
FETC
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Zack, you might be looking at Ralph's words the wrong way. Remember that he is coming from the EMS side of things. EMTs show up to scenes where people are dying more frequently then Firefighters. In some areas death is a weekly part of the job. Medics have the ability to push all sorts of crazy drugs, intubate, decide if someone needs spinal immobilization, etc. The saying does not necessarily give justice to heroic things that happen in emergency services, it is meant in part as a coping tool for responders involved. The fatal pt. is typically somewhere toward their death when EMS arrives. It is up to the crew to use their skills and knowledge to help the pt. live until definitive care can be reached. Would some of these people die if it were not for emergency response personnel? Most defiantly. Is it the fault of emergency responders if the death occurs? So long as training is followed and the responder gives 100%, NO.
You make valid points about how we impact peoples lives at a response. And I will admit that I use to feel the same way about this EMS slogan and could not wrap my head around the idea that it was not "my emergency," I WAS dispatch after all. I had been on some bad calls, but it was not until I was in clinical rotations in the Emergency Room when a particularly bad off pt. came in that I really understood the concept of this phrase. If it helps you, think of it like this, you do not have the last word if the pt. lives or dies, you can only do your part to help mitigate the situation.
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