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Fire House Secrets
what is your thoughts on the growing problem in fire houses, or do believe it is not as big as it seems? "Extamaritial affairs." As a chief officer I have seen a problem developing in our fire house, as we move to equality in the fire service. has our societies drop in morals moved to the place we held moral values and high standards as part of our honor. just like to see what you all have to say.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by BillySFCVFD on
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I believe that regardless of your environment it's one's character that keeps your moral compass on path. If enough people of low character group together that's where problems grow. On top of that, without restrictive policies it gets worse. TCSS
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Permalink Reply by blair4630 on
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I have seen it in both fire and EMS, probably more in EMS because it's payed in our area and people spend more time together. But even in my VFD I've seen it a little. It's a sad state of affairs when people you are supposed to rely on and rely on you are running around with you g/f, b/f, husband, or wife.
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Permalink Reply by Reg Mathis on
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Nothing but guys in our house...so no...this is NOT a problem!
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Permalink Reply by FETC on
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Growing problem Frank? When did it grow so much that it is now notable? This has been happening forever. Today though, the younger society is not so secretive about their personal lives.
What is somewhat new is outside ride-a-long programs and EMS mentoring. The students are attractive, interested in the career, and tend to "make friends" it depends on how far the friendship goes....
What has made it more notable is kids now a days have the "friends with benefits" attitude, and are very open about non-marital sex with friends. Their standard up bringing (things that are the norm for kids today or exposed to) their culture is different and morals are not the same as past generations. This has caused the road map confusion within the interpersonal dynamics of mixed aged firefighters still in the service.
Sorry but most Chiefs are out of touch.
To go along with Kali: We now have had sensitivity, sexual and other type harrassment training and "no personal relationships" within the department policies.
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WP
Well if it is between two firefighters within the same organization and not married, Then I would have to eat my words and say yes, it is a growing trend because women are fairly new to the fire service in some organizations. (but NOT all)
But as stated before, my description of what casues this is similar, as the culture of society has changed to be more open to lifestyles. One being, get married, doesn't work out, oh well test drive someone else, move on... get divorced.
Fire Chief's have to get a grip on their internal policies, before the "rabbit hutch" mentality as stated by someone else takes over... Like I said before on other threads, their should be "no personal or sexual relationships" between firefighters - (married or not) within the same fire department.
Takes policies, training, enforcement - discipline to overcome the issue.
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WP- Nothings gone, that just got pushed back to page 1. Give me some credit bro, I would NEVER delete a post because I was hiding from the content.
Just want to add that in a department not far from me, they had similiar thing happen and it ended in accusations, lawsuits, financial settlements and ruined MANY personal, professional careers.
If you have identified the problem now, then time to man up and handle it or I can guarantee the problem will handle itself.
I have two former chief's who lecture for me, that will tell you first hand, that it WILL severely damage your own personal relationships (at home) even though you were not involved and were just "the chief"
FETC
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Permalink Reply by Cody W. Nelson on
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Not much of a problem here. It's the hospitals you have to worry about here. It's like an orgy when those folks go to work. It's just crazy!
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Permalink Reply by Frank Barka on
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This was started to see if this issue was concided a accepted practice in our service today, it seems it is not. I know it is not a new problem. But as noted prior it is our younger generation that make it more open. it has been in the service for many years as a Volunteer recruit 27 years ago I lost a good friend who was caught up in a affair and lost his life as part of that reason. I am now tasked to deal with this in our departmet with possibly new rules and policies. We do have strict rules on sexual conduct but still have our members having relationships with other member and have now have married couples in our department. couples who were spouses of other firemen. I look for your thoughts on how you would enforce these policies when they occur off duty. It has and will cause tension in the service, and no it is not only with fellow members in the same department it is with neigboring departments members spouses. so no it does not need to have both male and female in the same house. but it is more of a temptation. I watch an episode of Rescue Me were the members made mention of a code between firefighters of dating a spouse or a widow of a firefighter, and the actions that the firefighter would recieve yes it is a television sitcom, but the idea of respecting one another as true brothers and sisters maybe what we need to deal with this as apposed to new rules that may lead to termination, pier pressure may keep this in check. This dicussion was in fact to get that response that we need to build that brotherhood and sisterhood to take care of our own we are in fact our brothers keeper. to be above all other professions and maitain the fact that we our one of the most trusted and respected professions in the world. Thank you for you true and candid comments. I hope we all "take care of our own."
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Very true, but my interp. of the topic was "In-house". Affairs outside the service are a different matter. There are just as many "moraly ambiguous" men and women in any department as there are in the civillian ranks(percentage wise). Is it wrong? Absolutely. Can it tarnish our image? Possibly.
Can we change it? No. Leopard, spots, and all that.
The best we can do is keep peer pressure on the miscreants and hope it prompts them to keep their shennanigans out of the public eye...
Just my 2...
TCSS
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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on
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Only one thing to say here.....THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN THE FIREHOUSE....If there is something you want to get out...just tell someone in the Firehouse and tell them to keep it quiet...it will be all over the place in a matter of about 2 days.....But don't tell anyone I said that.....LOL Paul
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Unfortunately, without an internal dating or sexual relationship policy and even a neputism policy your hands are tied.
Wow, I can't imagine issues with internal hook-ups, marriages, divorces, and keeping the department running smoothly with fair and equitable dissemination of policy enforcement. How can you? Pretty much anything goes without them.
Good luck
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