The most recent incicent that affected me for an extended period of time was a double fatal on I-81 that 2 Marines died. Even after a station debriefing, this incident still comes to mind.
There are a number of incidents that still come to mind, particularly when passing the spot or a memorial marker placed at the scene of a fatal accident. Even after 25 years the details of the first fatal I saw are clear to me.
How long ago was this incident, and how often does it come to mind? It may just be that more time has to pass before you get through it, or perhaps you need additional counseling.
responding to an ATV Fatal Rollover call with one of my kids best friends being the victim was one of the low spots of my life and it haunts me still... but as Joe Dirt said, "sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on".
if this incident messed your head up, take the time to look into critical stress debriefing from a professional counselor. I doubt anyone would have the balls to charge you for getting some assistance to help you through the memories.
this will pass buddy, trust me, there are worse calls that you have not seen or experienced yet. learning to deal with this will help you get through the next one, and the one after that, and the next one... they never stop.
Paul, Many many calls have stuck Im my mind for long periods of time and some I still remember to this day. It is hard sometimes to get over these calls but like grieving we all eventually move on. We never forget them just remember the good times.
Child run over by a car in a parking lot. It was an accident. I will never forget it. I think it sticks with me most because I have two children that were the same age at the time. It doesn't haunt me, but I will never forget it. There are plenty of other bads one I am sure, but if I could go back and alter anything related to any call I have ever run I would move that child out of the way. Too bad I can't.
Anything involvnig children usually sticks out, but I've never had anything fatal with children.
One night I was on squad and we got a call to a 100-year-old man that had fallen down and was disoriented. The man was simply dying. I helped carry him down the stairs and we rushed him to the hospital. When we got there we admitted him into the trauma room in the Emergency Room and I stood there as they incubated him. When I left the trauma room his family was outside, including his wife. Seeing your significant other pass away has to be one of the most heartbreaking instances anyone can endure. The wife also stated that her husband was stating that morning how he felt as if he wouldn't be on this Earth much longer.
Your last one will pass when you go to your next one.
Your mind is like your fire truck.
Put everything back where it belongs and you will be ready for the next one.
If you don't control your emotions, it will eat you to the point that you forget why you wanted to do it in the first place.
Talk it out. File it away.
Stay strong.
TCSS.
Art
Paul we see the best and worst outcomes in our line of duty. The calls that stick with you good and bad are the ones that make you stronger brother! There is one call that still sticks out in my mind. It was a bar fire and the bartender was murdered and the next day the lady lit the bar on fire. Im not going into detail but it was verry disturbing tome when i found him. We all have those calls that stick with us.
when i was with my old vol dept in Va, we responded to a mva with entrapment in an area famous for wrecks. i was 20 and was just appointed Lt for c shift which was mostly young guys. we responded and as we got on scene the vehicle involved looked very familier. when i walked up to the car to do pt assesment i realized it was one of my good friends from high school, matter of fact all the guys on the crew that day knew him. he was a DOA head into a tree. i was so upset by it that i had to walk away and do traffic control. while doing traffic duty i saw his mother driving up and she stopped. she asked how i was doing and she could tell i was upset, i told her to keep moving, as she started to drive up she recognzed the car and stopped. i think the hardest part of it was when the trooper told her that her son was dead. the hardest part was when she looked at me and the crew and said" you guys are his friends you have to do something for him, save him" to this day that has been one of the hardest things i my life. but as the other say this will pass, and as the chief said you never really for get them, just try t remember the good times
i worked a wreck that an eight year old boy died in my arms and that gets me all the time.theres good calls and bad ones and all u can do is try and decifer the ones you want to remember from the ones you dont .
I don't see a bad incident coming to mind as a bad thing. It depends of course on how often, how badly, it comes to mind. To remember a bad one with a little sadness is one thing, to remember a bad one and be always choked up about it isn't good. If the feelings don't soften then CISM assistance is needed, that's what it's there for.
I'm lucky, I haven't been to that many fatals. One comes to mind often - it was a young woman killed buy a drunk driver just before Xmas a few years ago. Does it hurt? No. Just reinforces my intense dislike of people who drive when affected by alcohol.
I think Art has it, file the memories away. Shred them? How can anyone with empathy totally forget a bad one? The trick is to seek assistance if needed and learn to put them to the back where they need to be.
We got paged one morning on a 5 month old male not breathing...Me and a fellow responder pulled up in our rescue truck and started to work...for about 5 to 10 min we did CPR. Nothing helped...baby passed...I knew the family...thats been nearly a year ago...I still think about it.
I have about the same response as most everyone here.... Sites, sounds, smells, they always work up the memories of this incident or that.
We had a double fatal of two local teens just a week ago and at the debriefing our most senior member reflected back on a double fatal we had just 2 years ago where we lost yet another teen. As he spoke he said "After 33 years, I sat down after that fatal and started counting. I stopped at 100"
But what was most interesting about his experiences and even a lot of my history with the F.D. is, we didn't have the stress debriefing. Now most of us do and I think it's an EXCELLENT tool to use. Not too mention just talking to someone on the department you know very well and trust that it can stay between the two of you.
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