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Firefighters not actually that hot: Poll
What is the world coming to?
By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter
The Municipal Firefighters Association took a hit yesterday with the release of a poll indicating that public confidence in the sexiness of firefighters fell sharply between January 2006 and December 2007.
Fully 91 percent of people questioned in December 2007 agreed that the Fire Department was “doing a good job of protecting and serving area residents.”
However, only 19 percent of the people who called 911 at the end of 2007 described the firefighters, on arrival to the site, as “sexy” or to “resemble Matthew McConaughey.” This number is down from 22 percent at the beginning of 2006.
Asked to describe the average firefighter, 62 percent of respondents selected either “short with a pot-belly and a mullet” or “old and bony with a bad moustache.”
Only 16 percent of women described the average firefighter as a “hunka-hunka-burnin’ love,” and only 13 percent of men selected “someone that makes me want to leave my wife and pursue a gay lifestyle.”
The poll also revealed that an alarming nine percent of all calls to 911 are made under false pretences as an excuse for a crew of sweaty, muscular men to come rushing to their doorstep. This is due to the widely-held misconception that, rather than the legal penalty of a $350 fine per vehicle, people found guilty of fraudulent calls receive a playful spanking by the firefighter of their choice.
Social groups responsible for the greatest discontent include desperate single women in their 40s and homosexual male firefighters across all income levels.
The poll results sparked outrage across the city, with one interest group threatening a lawsuit against the Firefighter’s Association, which is responsible for producing the popular Firefighter Calendar.
“This is a flagrant case of false advertising,” charged Rhonda Lopez, president of a citizens’ group called Cutie on Duty. “I don’t give a damn if the proceeds go to a good cause. [The Firefighter’s Association is] offering a product and they’re not delivering.”
Fire Department Chief Randall Myers, upon being shown the survey results, simply commented: “Fuck.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” he later added, “and these guys are volunteers. On the upside, this may bring down the number of fraudulent calls from people that just want a spanking. You’d be amazed how many of those we get.”
The poll, which was commissioned by the City of Toronto, costs $2 million annually and comes out of the city’s “essential services” budget.
: P.........It seems to me that the money that they spent on this poll could have actually gone to aiding the fire departments in this area>>>>>>>>>
What is the world coming to?
By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter
The Municipal Firefighters Association took a hit yesterday with the release of a poll indicating that public confidence in the sexiness of firefighters fell sharply between January 2006 and December 2007.
Fully 91 percent of people questioned in December 2007 agreed that the Fire Department was “doing a good job of protecting and serving area residents.”
However, only 19 percent of the people who called 911 at the end of 2007 described the firefighters, on arrival to the site, as “sexy” or to “resemble Matthew McConaughey.” This number is down from 22 percent at the beginning of 2006.
Asked to describe the average firefighter, 62 percent of respondents selected either “short with a pot-belly and a mullet” or “old and bony with a bad moustache.”
Only 16 percent of women described the average firefighter as a “hunka-hunka-burnin’ love,” and only 13 percent of men selected “someone that makes me want to leave my wife and pursue a gay lifestyle.”
The poll also revealed that an alarming nine percent of all calls to 911 are made under false pretences as an excuse for a crew of sweaty, muscular men to come rushing to their doorstep. This is due to the widely-held misconception that, rather than the legal penalty of a $350 fine per vehicle, people found guilty of fraudulent calls receive a playful spanking by the firefighter of their choice.
Social groups responsible for the greatest discontent include desperate single women in their 40s and homosexual male firefighters across all income levels.
The poll results sparked outrage across the city, with one interest group threatening a lawsuit against the Firefighter’s Association, which is responsible for producing the popular Firefighter Calendar.
“This is a flagrant case of false advertising,” charged Rhonda Lopez, president of a citizens’ group called Cutie on Duty. “I don’t give a damn if the proceeds go to a good cause. [The Firefighter’s Association is] offering a product and they’re not delivering.”
Fire Department Chief Randall Myers, upon being shown the survey results, simply commented: “Fuck.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” he later added, “and these guys are volunteers. On the upside, this may bring down the number of fraudulent calls from people that just want a spanking. You’d be amazed how many of those we get.”
The poll, which was commissioned by the City of Toronto, costs $2 million annually and comes out of the city’s “essential services” budget.
: P.........It seems to me that the money that they spent on this poll could have actually gone to aiding the fire departments in this area>>>>>>>>>
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jessica Travis on
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This is ridiculous, who would actually make a call that makes a firefighter drop whatever there doing (my cousin had 3 groomsmen leave during his wedding for a fake call) and go to that persons house under the pretence they would recieve a playful spanking? i certainly wouldn't. I also can't believe that they spent 2 million just to make this stupid poll, ask any firefighter and he could prolly tell you how many staged calls he's responded to. that money could have been spent in so many different ways its not even funny and actually could ahve done someone some good
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Permalink Reply by Jenny Holderby on
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That just makes me sick. NO WORDS!!
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Permalink Reply by anne potter on
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All that money could had bought turnout gear for some poor depts,maybe a truck or two..... Oh why do that ?? They ran a usless poll
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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on
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My wife says I'm sexy so there! LOL
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Permalink Reply by T.J. on
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Who cares about this poll, I'm sure they wont care what they look like when their house is on fire or someones trapped in a vehilce, this poll is dumb!
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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on
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OK.....Now I am about to get "in-shit" again......LOL...What do you want....? a pretty boy..? or someone that can put a fire out...? Must be pretty hard up to come up with a blog worth commenting on to post garbage like this....Paul
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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on
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'Asked to describe the average firefighter, 62 percent of respondents selected either “short with a pot-belly and a mullet” or “old and bony with a bad moustache.”'
Shit. Philly, they've been polling our response districts.
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Permalink Reply by Sarah Turner on
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I always thought my mustache was quite attractive... ah well..
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Permalink Reply by PFC Harmon on
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huh......................What my dpartment could do with 2 million buy a new station, all new trucks gear and scba's. Then if we had any money left we could use the money for gym memberships and cosmetic surgery to help the poll ratings. Then again as I look at my fire dept. we could use the money to buy votes in our favor.
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Well!! I don't have a mullet, nor am I bony. Good Grief!! I hate to see good money wasted on something like this silly poll.
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Permalink Reply by Justin Buck on
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with that much money they could use that money to help the fire dept. with equipment
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and obviously they didn't poll the citizens of west ashley or else the results would have said " customers were pleased with the dazzling pelts of the charming st. andrew's crews. in fact, some of the crews, mostly c shift, have been mistaken for greek gods and goddesses and have to fend off mass amounts of photographers and stalkers on a daily basis. It is hard to believe that such a troop of athletic, intelligent, and all around tuFF firemen could all work at one department"
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH
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