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Permalink Reply by Corey D. on August 1, 2008 at 8:47am

Sounds like he is just really eat up with it all. He has a new role and he is excited about it because he thinks it means something.
The FD house is his get away. My opinion is he is not ready for a true relationship. He still wants to go play with is friends and the toys.
He also may think you were being too clingy. Chill out and go out with your friends and leave him behind sometimes. If he is ok with that then you don't need him anyway. If he is not then that is your time to tell him how you feel about it all.
Boys will be boys and we don't want our friends to think we don't have a pair when it comes to our women.
Hope this helps some.

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Permalink Reply by Rae Ann Ozelis on August 6, 2008 at 5:13pm

Thank You!

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Permalink Reply by Chasefire on August 6, 2008 at 8:10pm

The problem is not the guy that's willing to give the shirt off his back to help a stranger. The problem is there is always someone willing to take it. It's a little like the story of the scorpion and the turtle. look it up if you haven't heard it before.

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Permalink Reply by Don Zimmerman on August 10, 2008 at 7:54pm

After 28 in the service, I have finally gotten a lot older. You as friend or whatever have to realize that he has made a big commitment to the fire service and to the public. On the other hand he has to start to let go. There are just some things that happen on his days off that he has got to realize he had no control over what happens and he can not do anything about it. On thing for sure, talk to him about, do not beat around the bush, be direct and force him to listen. I have been married 28 years to the same wonderful lady and we had this conversation a long time ago. I learned to let go and not worry about it. After years of having a scanner going in the house I have none and if work needs me then they can all call and I will go in, otherwise my time is for me and family!!!!! I understand what he is feeling and it will be one of the hardest things he has ever done, bar none. Zimm

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Permalink Reply by Phillip L Queen on August 13, 2008 at 2:20pm

The fire department is the best job in the world. It is a second family. Don't you wich you had a job that you are so excited about that you could not wait to be there. Don't be so uptight about the fire station. I did this for 37 years. The first wife was like you and called me all the time and didn't understand that emergencies don't give appoinmtents. It is a 24 hour 7 day a week job. Even when you are not there you are there. So be proud and excited for him that he has a job that a million people wich they had. If you try to pressure him into another position he would not be happy. Dont make it a choice between him and the job that will make it worse. My second wife a nurse understands that. She is excited when I got on a call out and she thinks that is outstanding that I am so passionate about my job. We have been together for 18 years. The "Strike Team Shit" is an important part of the job and gives him an opportunity to use his skills. If it was important enough to bring it up you should say cool I am so excited for you, have fun and be safe. As he gets older he will learn what the difference is between the two things he loves. You and the Department. You can do both.

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Permalink Reply by Rachel T. Corey on August 13, 2008 at 3:09pm

Firefighting/EMS is usually a 24/7 job. As a female I guess I understand it because it is my life.
As far as "what really goes on down there?" It depends on the house. Leadership usually determines how loose or tight the house is. And if the people (male and female) on duty are pigs, well that's how they will act. There is almost always busting balls going on. (you don't have to have them to bust them haha) And if your wondering about people being unfaithful. Well if they do fool around its not because of their job its because of the person as an individual. If they are "that type" of person who does that to their spouse/significant other..........I'm sorry for their spouses. To me messing around is wrong and even if I was single I wouldn't mess with any of my co-workers/partners because it would feel like doing my sibling........ GROSSNESS
There is a closeness that develops with people you count on to have your back and you have theirs. But for me its like family. If you want to ask me questions or just talk feel free to contact me on my page. Take care!

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Permalink Reply by kimmieflirts on August 13, 2008 at 4:43pm

if u add me ill send u a priveate message and that might help ps i work paid ems and voli fire fight

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Permalink Reply by AFD on November 16, 2008 at 11:25pm

YOU ALL SHOULD SEE THE MOVIE FIRE PROOF
YOU JUST MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.
Never Leave Your partner ( That is your Spouse )
No Matter What ! Forgiveness is an Blessing.
dont disgrace yourselves in front of your kids
remember one man one woman is the best creation God Every Created Thats YOU and Her... your Spouse.
so make time no matter what, both of you make time other wise your just another number in Failure.
Christian or Not ! When you Leave your job
then leave it, DO NOT Ever Bring Your Job Home.
Love your Spouse No Matter What.
when you make mistakes have forgivness, say i am sorry
if you can save and help others, then you can save your marriage and yourself.
if you need help then ASK for it.
Remember your human not God, you will need help one day
be thankful even if yo need to say God help me then say it you will feel better
have a good Day and Shift .

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Permalink Reply by Jessica on December 10, 2008 at 8:20pm

I'm dating a FF and I'm a FF myself. It is always hard to adjust to at first however; as time goes by you begin to realize what is important and that is your family and being a public servant. For your sake I hope you're able to understand that he loves his job and he must love you after a year and a half so know that no matter where he goes that is in the back of his mind. My man works for a full time department and I'm in the academy so we hardly ever have time to see eachother but we both know that no matter where we are or what we're doing we are number UNO to eachother!!! Good Luck and hang there girl... don't forget to stand by your man!

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Permalink Reply by Kenneth Freeland on December 10, 2008 at 9:13pm

well i have been a firefighter for about two years now. i have went though a girlfriend that left me because of it. the number one thing to remember is that we are there to support the community and we also need someone to stand beside us with the care and love. just because we take off and don't call every five inutes don't mean that are families aren't on are mind.

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Permalink Reply by Firefgtr576 on December 11, 2008 at 12:50am

You say you work in EMS also, you should have a pretty good understanding of how things work!

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Permalink Reply by Eric on December 20, 2008 at 12:02pm

I cannot speak from the perspective of a paid firefighter. With that said, I have to agree with some of the posts that I have read about the texting/calling and possible disciplinary action (speaking from military experience, again not padi firefighter). I would have to say that waiting for him to call might be the best way to go. I would have to say that even if it isn't his away time, it is still some form of away time and I have to say that away time makes "together time" that much better. Of course I'm not advocating distancing yourselves either. I guess that last portion could pertain to you two not seeing each other that much, again I think it makes seeing the other half that much better when you're afforded the opportunity. Being from a volunteer department, I carry my pager 24/7, I can't say hoping to get called out, but always ready if it happens. I guess that differs from being career and carrying it all the time though. I have to agree with Engineco913 as far as being paged out as opposed to going through a phone number database, that is coming from being a dispatcher and knowing how much of a pain it can be to try to get ahold of the people you need, when you need them, via their phone numbers. Have you sat down and talked with him about this? That would be key, especially when it comes to attempting to compromise the situations that he leaves for a call. Explain to him that you fully support his job, but that certain aspects seem to impede the progress of your relationship. Get his take on your feelings regarding this topic and talk it out. As far as guys acting like guys at the station, that's how a lot of guys are when they are around other guys in general, especially ones that they're friends with. It probably isn't on purpose and he probably doesn't even notice the difference. I hope this helps you two out.

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