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Comment by Beverly on December 3, 2008 at 12:00pm

Please find out if your department does CISD. Talk to other members of your department, especially ones that were there, they may be having the same feelings as you are. If your deparetment doesn't do CISD, see if any of the other responding agencies do and go to theirs (Don't worry , you will be welcomed.)
If you have done your best than stop second guessing yourself. We all have done it and it really isn't beneficial, it doesn't change the outcome of the incident(s), it makes you feel bad about yourself and the stress that you put on yourself can make you sick.
We all have had or will have the "shift from Hell", we just hope that they are few and far between .
Keep talking about it.
If you need someone to talk it out with, let me know.

Comment by Bill Heizer F/F E.M/T.-P on December 3, 2008 at 6:36am

It is not uncommon to have these feelings after a nightmare shift that you and your company endured. I debrief multiple departments in my area, and what i tell them is that we are there to pick up the pieces after the event and to give the best that is possible and that no matter how hard we try, that there will be negative outcomes, be the call for EMS or Rescue or supression. Look at the positive aspects of the call and if any negative aspects come to the surface, make that call a learning experience, and support everyone that participated in the event. Feel free to hollar at me on my site and I will do my best to get you through this tragic event.

Comment by dj lee on December 2, 2008 at 8:06pm

Sorry to hear that feel free to talk to me if you need too I'm on your friend list just let me know if you want to talk.

Comment by Jill on December 2, 2008 at 4:04pm

WOW! If you ever need to talk...I am on your friends list...feel free to email me!

Comment by FETC on December 2, 2008 at 1:45pm

If nobody wants to talk, go to my FFN page, click on my business's website link and call the number bro.

Bill

Comment by FETC on December 2, 2008 at 1:13pm

John,

The cards were dealt before the tones were dropped my friend. It is natural for us to feel bad as we are in the business to help others. If you can honestly say you did your best, then victim's family couldn't ask for more from the responders.

If you are really feeling this bad, talk to others who responded. Talking is a coping mechanism, if others feel the same, then a formal CISD should be arranged within 24-48 hours. We do not do them for every fatality, we have a criteria, but even if it doesn't meet the criteria they are called when it effects our people.

I usually intervene immediately as the supervisor and call a shift or group "after action review", we discuss the call, and I explain basically what I have already said... if I get a vibe that you are not feeling right, I would then discuss the CISD with my Chief or maybe just directly with the individual.

Do you guys have a department pastor, or clergy? I have had them come in for the shift after action review, which in reality is now a mini CISD and not a critique of the incident.

Keep talking though bro...