Due to my recent dislocate-my-knee-and-thus-have-cadaver-put-in-my-knee escapade, i have now gained a newfound appriciation for the things I used to take for granted, especially my friends and family who have stuck by me through this whole mess. This injury/surgery has for all intensive purposes catupulted me into being a bedridden 21 year old geriatric patient. I cannot even do the basic things needed to sustain life on my own. At the most, other than the bathroom breaks when it gets to the point that i cannot avoid getting up anymore, i move twice a day..... from my bed to my couch and back, a trip of less than fifteen feet. The brace is so heavy that it hurts my knee and its incision sites terribly just to make that small move, and on some days i havent even made that move to to the knowledge of what pain is to come if I do. All of my basic needs are only met with the help of my sister who lives with me. I cannot wash my own hair, my sister leaves out breakfast and snack items for me in the morning within my reach so that while she's away for 12 hrs at work I can still eat, she goes CVS and gets my multiple prescriptions for me, and helps me remember to take all of them (the day i forgot to take my 25 of phenergan before putting the vicodin 15/1,500 in my system was a very very very bad day). The vicodin puts me in a stuporous state best compared to senility further prompting the geriatric comparison. I need to have everything within my reach, and slippery floors, cords, anything on the floor pose a slip hazard (I already fell once, on the first day after surgery, when my brother febreezed the bathroom and didnt think to check and make sure it wasnt slippery, something that crutches dont do well on).

This has given me a newfound understanding and compassion for people who are stuck in this state for any period of time (thank goodness it is only temporary for me). It's hard to understand how much quality of life goes down the drain when you are immobile until you are stuck in those shoes for a bit. I now appreciate all the little things in life much better. I can't wait until i can get my own food, drive myself where i need to go, walk with my own 2 feet, decide my own schedule, and especially escape from being indoors!!!!! later on I can't wait until I get to be my old self again, i'll enjoy my first hike, first camping trip, first road trip, first trip to the shooting range (with my new gun!!!), first everything!!! I can't wait to clean my apartment on my own again, and make one of my homemade meals!!!!!


To all my friends and family who have stuck by me through this and have helped keep me company as well as helped me meet my needs, thank you SO SO SO SO SOOO much! it really is appreciated, I am sure there were times where i was either too high on vicodin or in too much pain to say thank you, so THANKS!!!


~Marie