Saturday January 19th, 2008

Just when I think that I put a call in the past behind me...it creeps up and attacks out of nowhere! I had been at the department almost all day today doing paperwork. A group of members were there cleaning the ceilings in the truck bay. Someone asked me if I had any hand lotion since their hands were dried out from the cleaning chemicals and the gloves. I didn't have any but I knew that I had put some Hand Lotion on the rescue truck, so I offered to go and get it. No big deal! I walked over to the rescue and climbed inside the back. As I was trying to open a compartment door IT HIT ME! OUT OF NOWHERE! My heart skipped a beat...I started to feel shakey......I started to feel real nervous... I actually had to step out of the rescue and clear my head for a minute... It was the picture in my head that was as clear as the day it happened...The call happened well over a year ago..but at that moment it was replaying as if it were happening all over again....Even now as I write this I cant help but think of that trauma call that day and every detail of it replaying in my mind..Things I didn't notice then I am remembering in slow motion now....I hadn't though about that call in a long time until now?