I'm not the sort of person to take pleasure in other's misfortunes....unless it results in something funny.

I have a peculiar sense of the absurd......and a disconcerting habit of "hee-hawing" when something strikes me funny. Even when it's inappropriate....ESPECIALLY when it's inappropriate.
It's not my most attractive characteristic, but I'm an avid audience of the theatre of "D'oh".

Drill last night......this was the very first time EVER that I actually debated going. I'm really busy with the day job, have an increased work load bearing down on me and deadlines looming; factor in the amount of travel that I'll be doing in the next eight weeks and it's enough to make Randy "Macho" Savage cry for his mommy. Frankly? I'm pooped. I don't sleep well under the best of circumstances, and rarely when I travel for work....so suffice to say I've been burning the candle at every end.....

BUT.... I"m so glad I went.....

I have a spotless record of attendance at drill....and wasn't about to blow it because I was cranky and tired. I had a much better idea....I decided to inflict my miserable mood on my fellow department members. Hey, nothing says "howdy" like a bitchy "what the hell are YOU looking at??!!" .

I arrive at the dept. .....and all of us probies get assigned to the Hahn.....gear up.....off we go. I holler over the screaming of the engine (exterior jump seats on the Hahn) into the cab....."What are we doing tonight???" . Bill, our Captain....screams back..."Wohow lelreolht toehtelht hoethe snoelea; elnre ....Ok?!" Well, that's what it sounded like to me.

We arrive at a local parking lot....the rig parks, and "Junior" (We have a bevy of 17-19 year olds whose names I can never remember...so I call of them "Junior") leaps off the truck like his ass is on fire....so I assume that HE heard whatever Bill yelled back at us. I look back at Bill and he's giving me the thumbs up....which I presume means a call to action...So I stand up and bellow...."What am I supposed to be doing??????!!!!!" and he yells "Grab the line and run it out!!!"

Okey dokey.....I have NO idea which line he wants....but since he made some vague finger jab at the side of the truck...I grab one of the attack lines and hoof it across the lot. Must have been the right line, because I didn't hear the usual "oh for chrissake".

We play with water and foam and make a general nusiance of ourselves....then get the high sign to break it down, pack it up,and we're going to a new location. My best buddy in the department, Ron, is getting Pump Ops training...so the rest of us are just along for the amusement factor.

Next stop? Another parking lot about a mile away, accessed by hitting the main thoroughfare through the middle of the village. At this juncture Bill does a rundown on who's doing what....gee it's nice to be able to actually hear him for a change.... and he looks at me and says...."You're quick off the truck.....I want you to grab the Mattydale and run it out, but only one length...OK?" ...to which I respond in my Probie fashion...."Uh, ....which one is the Mattydale?" ....He suppresses an eye roll....just barely....and walks me over to the right line. I reply...."Ok, I got it"....and he says...."You sure?" and I nod my head vigorously......but he's seemingly not convinced....because he grabs the nozzle and pulls it WAY forward....and says...."THIS is the one you want" ....to which I'm thinking....."hmmmm...that doesn't seem secure, but who am I to quibble?"
Okey dokey;....

I leap into my jump seat....and off we go at a brisk rate of speed. I'm just starting to fade off into my current favorite daydream....and then something jolts me upright with a surge of adrenaline......

Holy Moses.....the Mattydale nozzle leaps off the side of truck and starts dancing down the center yellow line of the road.......
I twist in my seat....simultaneously screaming "Stop the Phucking Truck" and banging on the back window of the cab.....

"SCREEEEEECH"......we shudder to a halt...and I jump off the truck and run back.....

Oh baby.

We have about 200' of line out....and the nozzle looks like a Grizzly bear was using it for a chew toy.

Traffic starts piling up....so "Junior" starts directing traffic while we start frantically feeding line back onto the truck.

We get packed back up.....we arrive at the next location....I haul myself up the side of the truck to the bed to grab the nozzle....and hot-foot it out ....while the rest of the operation goes like clockwork.

We break down....pack it all back up....get back on the truck.....and Bill says..."Probies? That was effing PERFECT.....nicely executed!!" I lock eyes with him....my smirk starts....and he looks at me and says..."Well, BESIDES the obvious.........Not one word out of you Mel.....NOT ONE WORD" ......

I giggled all the way back to the station...

I love the fire service.....

Stay safe, train often, and buckle up.
Until next time.