For those of you who know me, you know I have tried to keep the theme of firefighting as the premium on this website. This is one occasion where I am straying from the norm. I was given the occasion to review my life this past month. Without divulging into a gross amount of detail, I was given a massive reality check this past month. This reality check has opened my eyes to allow me to see beyond the box I created.

I have a beautiful fiance' and 3 beautiful children. My actions outside of the home have kept me away from home more than they keep me in the home. I always have a never ending list of "projects" going on at any given time, be it from work, or sports (mens softball, bowling, hunting, fishing) and of course, the daily rigors of the firehouse. I am not a person who can simply "make quota" for training, I thirst for more training. I attend over 80% of all the departments training and also seek alternate outside trainings and classes to further my education in fire science. Throughout my relationship of 7 years, I have put everything aside from my "projects" aside to make room for all the things that I thought as important. While the importance wasn't in any relevance (I know training is important, and having sources to spend energy and fitness through sports is healthy) I made it a point to not prioritize my life. In the end, my family were the ones who made the most sacrifice.

This past week, I almost lost my fiance. No, it wasn't a horrific accident, nor a terrible disease. I almost lost her because she realized that in my life, she wasn't my number one at times. She noticed how I prioritized my schedule and plugged in time with her as a "filler." My stupidity and blindness to the situation at hand dealt me a crushing blow when faced with reality.

I am thankful that our relationship has evolved, and again we opened the lines of communications (which is damn important in ANY relationship) to be able to speak without anger with one another.

In conclusion, I want you all to take a look into your life. Notice the warning signs that your significant other is pulling away. Note the signs that there is secrecy underlying the relationship. Note your partners state of mind to look for signs of depression. Open a line of communications, and seek therapy rather than throwing it all away.
We all need to take time for us. We all need to make time for our families. I am proud to say that in the end, I have been a much better future husband. I have been more helpful in the home. My children have responded to having much more contact with me in a great posative manner. It took dedication on both my part and her part, and understanding and concessions on both of our parts to ensure that our relationship makes it throughout the future.
Don't forget about who is important to you. Don't let the fire service, work, or activities outside of the home cloud judgement and push you and your love further apart in life. Don't make the mistake I did, and almost deal with the same fate I did. Therapy isn't poison, nor a bad word. When two people are committed to the concept and accept the idea that change will improve the situation, it does work.

Live, laugh, and love together like there is no tomorrow.