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Comment by tiffany nicole lewis on June 15, 2009 at 8:21pm

Hello ladies! I am just joining this group and wanted to say hello to everyone! My name is Tiffany and my husband, Steven, and I have been married now 6 years in July. We have 2 wonderful daughters ages 6 and 5, and they are so very proud of what their daddy does and so am I. Trust me, I still get very scared everytime he goes out on a call! He is an UNPAID volunteer, which makes it harder for some of the wives on this department to understand why their men would go risk their lives for a total stanger and recieve absolutely nothing in return. I dont see it that way, I see it as a wonderful opportunity for my husband and the others to show their community that there are still bery good people out there. I hope to get to know some of the other wives on here! See ya!

Comment by Tammy on June 3, 2009 at 1:39am

Hey ladies! I am a firefighter married to a firefighter/police officer. We have 2 daughters that both want to be firefighters. My life has always been wrapped around helping others. If anyone has any questions for me, feel free to contact me!!! Have a great day!

Comment by Pam Tichy on May 13, 2009 at 1:35pm

Today I called a girlfirend who's husband died on the scene 5 years ago. I see her at least once a week - our boys are in school together, but I always call her on this day just to say 'hey, how you doing.'
For Tess & Shauna: to answer Does it get easier? Honestly, NO. The firefighter prayer hangs on our bedroom wall, and I read it often when the tones go out for our dept and others.
I can't make my husband promise to come home because that is not a promise he can make, we both know that and we are realists. I always kiss him good bye and say 'be careful, I love you'. As he pulls out of the driveway I ask God to watch over him - and that is all I can do.
Everything in life has risks - you can't live your life in a bubble, and you can't stop him from going, and that unselfish drive is exactly why you love him. All you can do is put your trust in God, pray he'll come home but if he doesn't, then ask God to get you through fears that you now must face, and lean on your fire family - it is something we are all there for.

Comment by Pam Tichy on May 11, 2009 at 4:24pm

Hi everyone - nice to meet everyone. Wow I feel like the veteran here . . . I have been married to a vol FF for 15 years, a member of the department's Ladies Auxiliary for the same, was in the Rescue Squad for 5 year prior to that and grew up a firehouse brat for my remaining 20 years prior (yes I am almost 40). My dad was chief for 13 years, prior to his death 30 years ago, and now my brother has been chief for 5 years, and my husband in is year 2 of being president so YES I guess you could say it is in our blood!! We live in a small rural community.
We've had a fire dept auxiliary for 55 years and my mom is a charter member & still active! I have seen the group morph over the years and we are going through another change currently. Both my mom & I are rather outspoken, and I won't lie there is a certain amount of ownership I guess I feel - having been there so long. But I was raised to focus on the 'purpose' and that coupled w/ my personality makes me a renegade/troublemake to some. But now we have a number of "young members" and I am so excited becuase they want to DO things and be active - I think it is great, but not everyone sees it the same way.
For me, all the organizations I am involved in, I see change as a way to stir up & revitaliZe an organization. Just because it is different , doesn't mean it is bad or good - you should weigh each change on it's own merits to make that decison.
When I was growing up the FD was like a family - our parents marched in parades all summer, with one or two of the pregnant ladies, watching the other kids during the paprade. Generally they were carvials & firemen's days. After the parade we spent the afternoon at the local "firemens booth"(usually the beer tent) men sharing stories, women visiting (& rolling their eyes at their drunken hubbys) LOL & kids having outdoor fun - it built great comraderie. The next generation did NOT do that, for whatever reason. - we now rarely attend parades and do more than a summer picnic & Chirstmas party - which many don;t attend. In our dept the "dept family" became defunct, but I am happy to say w/ the fresh new blood the "family is rebuilding." Our current chief (my bro) promtes it - promotes us having family activities at the firehouse. We've always had a summer picnic in August, but this year, after the fire dept added a wide scene tv for training, we decided to have a Daytona 500 party and a movie night. They were open to all members & their families. Those of us who showed - had a ball! About 40 (incl kids) for Daytona & 20 for movie night. It is rebuilding the 'family unit' that I really believe is integral to a volunteer Fire Dept. There is a safe haven where we can kick back, enjoy each other's company, while there we watch each other's kids, as if they were our own. Our kids, of all ages learn to work & play together. Our kids help out at some fundraisers - after all they are the next generation so let's bring them up right.
Our Auxiliary is gowin through a growing pains. We have a Pres & VP that have been in for 20 years (they have a number of relatives in) They've lost site of our purpose, as an organization. Now we've got some new blood - we are wrking hard to get more so there are enough to facilitate change so that as an organization we may progress. We are hopeful to change so of the old, out dated practices when it comes to serving our men at the scene - learning what is best for Rehab (coffee & cookies are a thing of the past, there are better ways to serve our men - and the newbies want to do the job right, and yes I am a veteran, but I am focused on our purpose & our menand I am all for learning how to do thing better, if it benefts our men.
OK - I've gotta stop rambling!!! Glad to be a part of a great group looking forward to the e-chats!

Comment by Cynthia Mills on May 11, 2009 at 8:35am

Hi there! I'm so excited to find some other women talking online about all the things I've experienced in my decade married into the fire service. I've read most of the comments below and I'm sorry for Tessa and Shauna are not made welcome at their husbands' departments. I have been to departments like that and I'm now at one on the opposite end of the spectrum.

I am part of the FAST team at our department. It stands for Firefighter Assist & Support Team. We respond to long calls w/ coffee, snacks, and sometimes hot food (if a local restaurant is willing to donate or discount and make a bunch for us.) We also plan family events throughout the year for firefighters and their families. I LOVE this department. My kids and I are always welcome to any station. The men my husband works with are like uncles to my girls and brothers to me. I have to say though, that the reason our department is like one big family, is because our Chief promotes this and wives at the department carry on with this idea. Chief promotes family values and family involvement and I think this makes a huge impression on his guys and a difference in our department. At Burton, it is "our" fire department, not just my husband's.

Anyone please feel free to write back! I really like getting connected to some other women who are married into the fire service. Thanks.

Comment by Tessa on February 3, 2009 at 6:31pm

Thanks Shauna, I appreciate that. :)

Comment by Shauna H. on February 2, 2009 at 8:18pm

totally understand that, i work 10 hour days on a split shift of second and thirds and my husband works on days, he isnt full time with the dept yet but will be testing soon. we see each other maybe 12 days a month if we are lucky. in regards to the dept he works at, they may frown updon the wives being there, but then again they have to realize that you are a bigger part of his life then they are, it doesnt always work out that way but in my opinion family trumpts that way of life any day. i work late hours, if you are ever up while he is out on a call and need to get your mind off things my work email is showsare@usxpress.com feel free to drop me a line anytime :)

Comment by Tessa on February 2, 2009 at 8:09pm

Thanks, good to know I'm not alone in the way I feel about this. It's just really a bummer, this is so much more than a job to them, it's a way of life and it's hard not to feel a part of that. My Husband does try to involve me in most of the events and stuff they have, we've only been married a year and a half, so we really like spending all the time together we can since he works two jobs and I work almost 50 hours a week we don't get alot of time together. Thanks for the advice. :)

Comment by Shauna H. on February 2, 2009 at 6:29pm

When my husband first started in Fire/Rescue, He was at one of the stations on a Saturday, one of my children had dropped my phone in the water so I had to stop by the station for a minute before i went home to let him know in case he tried to call us, when i walked in one of the fireman told him that i needed to call before i came out there or the other wives would think it was ok... i never stepped back in that station and he is now at another station. to be honest i try to avoid going to the staions as well for that same reason and i only joined the support staff so i could have something to do while he was gone. everyone says they are one big family but if u are not the one involved then u are an outsider. you dont have to go through the dept to start the group, just get the wives together one night and see how it goes, maybe once a month you can rotate where you have it, we always have ours the tuesday before their monthly meetings.

Comment by Tessa on February 1, 2009 at 9:04am

How many other departments out there have a support staff? I haven't heard of this before. I live in a small town and my Husband works for the County Fire Department, they are only about 24 men strong. In all honesty, the wives are not involved with the Department in any way, it's discouraged. My Husband has been there for 5 years and it's something we have talked about frequently, he has mentioned to the Dept. about starting a Firefighter Wives Association but is always shot down by the majority. At things like Christmas dinners, Promotions, Pinnings, etc... I am one of the few wives ever there, we aren't made to feel very welcome so most of the wives avoid things like this. Does anyone else experience this at any of the other Dept's?

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