Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Trina Halsey on November 8, 2010 at 1:29pm

The link from my original post did not go through - it was a 0430 - dog argument over a bone, where I stuck my hand out to push one dog off the other and stuck my hand in the big guy's (120 lbs) mouth as he was complaining - instant dog bite. 6 punctures, 3 pretty nasty and one major concern for infection. We have 4 kids - 10, 8, 4, 2. i need to figure out what to do if an unexpected trip to the ER like that comes up again. So, weekends I can do - my parents are close enough, weekdays - my dad leaves home around 5am, my mom and I are not close enough for me to know her schedule. Working out plans with a neighbor as we speak. Hopefully won't need to bug them with a new babe due any day/

PS - Mike, I would love any input you have. Right now the rest of the guys are too busy tending to their cubs (there is another rookie on the truck as well), for me to get too much insight. The guys Jeff went through the academy, let's just say some of my kids from work are older than most of his class, so there is a definite generation gap. Thanks much!

Permalink Reply by Trina Halsey on November 8, 2010 at 1:31pm

http://mfdwife-toohottohandle.blogspot.com/2010/11/bit-of-eye-opening.html

Permalink Reply by Val on November 8, 2010 at 11:14pm

Some situations, don't forget that you can ask him to come home. We had a guy try to break in our house and I had to ask him to come home. He wasn't even off probation but it wasn't even a thought that someone would come and trade time for him to come home. Some things there is no plan B to shoot for. That said, I also know that some departments are not as family friendly as ours is AND we live in district. So he was less than 2 miles away.

Plan b changes so much depending on time and event for me as well. I work for myself now because I truly couldn't schedule around things anymore and I was fed up with trying to juggle. But I had to juggle it all much more when he was a volunteer. lol

My plan b options:

1. My parents live super close. A big reason why we've never moved from the same area we grew up in.

2. My neighbors. Previously I had two teens living next door that were an absolute dream for me. We took them on vacation and they are truly family. If one of them was around (safe bet) then I could always call them to come over. They grew up darnit and I don't have that option anymore, but my kids are old enough to be home now. We are also really tight with another neighbor and we both call each other to check on kids here and there.

3. Other wives. Mine are 15 and 12 so truly, if emergency happened they are ok until I can get some one here no matter the time of day. But a few friends have little one's. I'm happy to say I'm on their emergency lists to pick them up at school, daycare, etc. We take one families daughter here and there because their family doesn't live close by.

Those are just what I can think of off the top of my head that I've used.

Permalink Reply by Cynthia Mills on November 9, 2010 at 6:11am

Trina,

Sorry about the bite! I hope you're doing better and on the way to recovery now, especially with a full house to tend to. Mommies never have down time, so I'll send some thoughts and prayers your way. I definitely agree with Val on her points. She seems like a seasoned firewife. As Mike France tells his guys, "family comes first." If the situation calls for it, ask your husband to come home. Many times, an informational phone call is all it takes because once a family man hears about something wrong at home, he's no longer able to function in a work capacity until all is well again in personal matters. And with firefighting, he has to be able to focus on the job or it's dangerous for everyone. My husband has had to come home briefly or meet me at the Dr. office or hospital before for various kid-things. He always gets stuff settled, heads straight back to work, and is able to focus, knowing we are all okay.

Also, we don't have family close. Our fire family is our family here. We rely on them for everything from advice to support to bartering eggs from their chickens to helping fix our home when something breaks. I've also discovered that the other firewives are more than happy to work out a trade agreement w/ watching kids, especially in an emergency situation. I have three girls, but one shift night, I had to run one to the hospital at around 11:00 at night for an asthma attack. My husband left the station and met me there. The Captain's wife, who didn't have any kids yet, came over and sat at our house while the other two slept. She wasn't a mom yet, but she was part of our fire family. She already adored our kids and I had talked to her about the possibility of this happening. Your fire family might be new to you, but don't discount them as a Plan B. At our department, we all lean on each other, no matter time of day/night or reason.

Permalink Reply by Val on November 19, 2010 at 4:36am

I love the term "seasoned firewife" it makes me keep pretending I'm as young as I feel ;)

I don't know how I'd make it at all without my community. My daughter is in wrestling and I'll have made 20 trips to the school and back for it all by sat afternoon. Dawned on me I needed to talk to another mother and see how we can make our lives easier with all this commuting :) Then my firefamily is also who I can call if needed. One of our friends is on days for a while as he recovers from surgery again. I know I can use him in an emergency.

Sounds like you are making the connections that will be the key to your sanity :) Congrats on being smartenough and gutsy enough to look for more help.