Ok I am both a police\ems\fire Dispatcher and 911 operator so i get a wide variety of calls but some are just too funny to keep to myself if anyone has any funny calls they would like to share please do so

Im sitting in the dungeon when i get a 911 there is a man crying on the other end so i ask him the standard questions ya know location and nature and he stop crying and said

" My name is and when i was sitting in church the other day my ex wife looked at me and when noone else was looking she called me a chicken f*cker!! "

he then began crying on the phone again and i couldnt help but start smiling even had to mute the phone for a min to get a good laugh out then i asked him would you like to see an officer he replied no he had already spoken to the pastor and that the pastor had yelled at him for using fowl language in the church. the man on the other end of the phone just sighed and said he thought i might wanna know.

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Have your ever had someone tell you, "I love you" or "Love you,bye" ? hahaha
oh yeah my favorite is before we start a shift we all try and guess what we will get called that day i seen to be a babe apparently
No no, she said 'chicken plucker!' No wonder he cried fowl...er...foul.
we recieved a call the other day of an overturned tractor trailer, no big deal right......WRONG!!!! It was hauling 107 cows. So we had cows on interstate 65 for apprx. 18 miles. 7 cars hit the cows. We just had a huge rodeo goin on that night......The interstate was shut down for about 10 hrs.
WE HAD A GUY CALL US ONE NIGHTAND SAID THAT ALIENS HAD LANDED IN HIS BACK YARD. THEY CRASH LANDED SO HARD THAT THEY LOST A TIRE TO THEIR SPACESHIP. HE SHOWS US A TIRE THAT HAD SO MUCH OVERGROWTH ON IT THAT IT HAD BBE THERE AWHILE.
Just this last friday Iwas working the Fire/EMS terminal and my Partner was on the Police Termanal. i had been in the middle of a dispatch when my partner took a 911 call for me. Turns out that the caller wanted an Ambulance to come and give him his Gout meds that he forgot to pick up. He ended the call with please hurry my foot really hurts.
Tyler that sounds a lot like the saturday afternoon when the first call to 911 was Umm a deer just smashed in my from door, In the smal city I was working in, as itturned out, a whole herd got spooked by something and went on a spree from the north to the south end of the city, I had two fire departments, ambulances, city police, state police, department of environmental protection, the United states Navy, United states coast guard, a couple of large animal vets roving with horse trailers riding around picking up hurt deer ..lol It was the craziest incident I ever had , and I had a few weird ones when I was dispatching ..lol tractor trailers trying to avoid animals and hitting other traffic on Interstate 95, mv accidents vs other vehicles vs. deer , vs trees..lol typical of me in the dispatch room , when my partner was at lunch..
I was the incident commander of this wreck, it was quite a sight. I must admit I have never seen cowboys on horseback and four wheelers tearing up 20 miles of interstate, my favorite has to be the bunch of firemen in the back of the brush truck with lasso's. It was quite an experiance but a VERY LONG NIGHT. Not to mention all the MVA's and cow calls we took over the next few weeks for "those who got away".
Took a 2am call one night of a vehicle fire on the interstate, fully involved. Fire department has been onscene for about ten minutes and has already declared it under control when 911 rings. Caller is reporting a vehicle fire in the same area as the one the FD is already on. As I questioned them to obtain a location from the other fire the caller says "Oh, the fire dept is already there but I just thought you may need to know about it"....This is the kind of people we talk to in Chilton County on a regular basis. If they aren't already residences they become Chilonfied as soon as they cross the county line.
Ahh yes...if it wasn't for stupid people, would we have jobs? LOL
alright got another one yesterday... lady calls in gives me her address and and then stopped iasked her again what was wrong and she said in a whisper "there is an emu looking through my window at me" i stopped typing and said a what she said " an emu he is looking at me trying to talk to me he keeps say " of course she sat there and talked like an emu for 3 minutes straight before my officer went out there and found the emu and took it back home .
Had a woman come to the After Hours door of the PD to tell us her next door neighbors -Aliens- were improperly parked. I asked her to tell me about their vehicle. "Well, it LOOKs like a brown van, but I know better, and it's straddling the white lines." She gave me the tag number. "Thanks for checking in with us. DOT has issued special numbers for registered aliens. They are exempt from parking regulations because they have trouble seeing stripes."
She thanked us and went away.

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