when I was a volly we got dispatched to a pretty nice area for a ems call "foreign object stuck in anus". The local vol rescue squad was unmanned and nobody had responded to the 2nd all call. gee go figure. So we first respond and arrive on scene to hear some guy yelling help and all the doors locked. So we force entry and go find the guy. He was laying in the fetal position on the couch buck naked. He stated to us he thought he might have a light bulb stuck in his butt. About that time i notice a open jar of KY jelly open on his end table by the couch. He said he noticed the ceiling fan light out so went and got a new bulb, and when he returned the light had come back on so he laid the new light bulb on the couch and went and got undressed came back and "accidentally sat on the light bulb." No i didn't buy that story, and judging from the amount of KY all over his butt I'm guessing he meant to do it. The er confirmed that it was in fact in his butt, glass end first. 100watt.
Had an EMS and they were asking for Police. I went down there and they were huddle inthe bus looking all scared.I ask whats going ona dnthey say theres a big dog inside barking. The people were new in the nieghborhood so I really did n't know them so I asked the nieghbor if they had a dog, He said no. I go to the door and I hear this strange barking....its the man inside barking like a dog having diabetic difficulties....Instead of walking the 15 feet out side I call on the radio that the situation is 10-1 (under control)its not a dog it a man.....The Ambulance crew of course gave me dirty looks but I was too busy laughing to care. The police enjoyed it also.