Many of us have had good ones and bad ones, but thinking back on the years spent in the service, what was your first call? Do you remember the first call where someone perished? Has there ever been a call when you were honestly distraught because of something that happened??

This is for all and everyone to share. Sometimes it is good to hear about others knowing that you are not alone. It is also good sometimes to get things off your chest. Maybe this is a sort of CISD, enjoy all and I like others look forward to any and all replies.

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I remember those calls vividly. My first was a mobile home fire. It was burning like a bon-fire by the time we got there. Nothing bad on this call, just lots of fire.

I lost a good friend of mine on a rescue call one night. We were called to an overturned semi-tractor trailer in which a man was trapped in the next county. We were the only ones at the time that had airbags. We got there, freed the individual, and EMS transported him. We were cleaning up and putting the truck back together when we found David lying underneath the engine. He had a massive heart attack and we never got him back. The amazing thing was, he was the one running the airbags. He waited to pass until we got the kid free!

We lost a 4 year old boy in a house fire. The 4 year old warned his sleeping parents and they got out of the house. The 4 year old was following his parents but succumbed to the smoke. We found him fairly quickly, but it was too late. The kid saved his parents and his younger sister, but couldn't make it out himself. This was the first kiddo fatality after I had become a father. I was worthless for about a year afterwards.
Way back in my career I was living in a small Adult trailer park with my wife and child. Our Landlord was a very good friend and had allowed us to move in because he was a friend. One morning while getting ready to go to work my wife came in and said that something was going on across from our house. She said I see Dan laying on the ground and people all around him. So I got out of the shower and ran out there. Here was my good friend Dan laying on the ground and this old guy hitting him on the chest and his wife standing there looking shocked. I quickly pushed the old guy out of the way and started CPR , no mask and all. I asked if anyone had called 911 and his wife said she had. Soon the Ambulance showed up and I figured at that point that I was done. Nope, the ambulance crew asked me to continue CPR and go with them to the hospital. So for the next 20 minutes I rode in the back of the ambulance and continued CPR on my friend. Never once thinking that my closest friend was gone. When we got to the hospital we rushed him into the ER and put him on the ER table and continuing CPR. The ER Doc who I knew came in took one look at my friend and looked at us to say, Who brought this patient in here and why the heck did you? I stood there shocked to the core. He called the code just like it was nothing. Needless to say I was devastated. This man was just like my father. I then walked out of the ER to talk with my friends wife and daughter. I felt like I had let them down and this was somehow all my fault that he didnt make it. When I walked up to Dans wife she just put her arms around me and gave me the longest hug and then said something that has always been with me in my heart. Bill, Dans heart was just tired. He was ready for this and the greatest thing I can tell you is its ok, You did everything you could do for him, he would be proud and thankful for what you did but it just wasnt meant to be. ITS OK! I still hear those words and remember my dear friend. I know that that call somehow set the stage for the rest of my career because there are many times we do all we can but the fact is they arnt coming back. We did all we could and yet........... Yes, Dan I still remember you Buddy! Right here in my heart.

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