So I have been dating my boyfriend (who is a FF/Paramedic) for about a year and a half now. I must say that his job has been very stressful on our relationship. He has a pretty mellow schedule 48 on 96 off.... When he is at work I used to text and call him all the time etc... but I finally got the point that maybe work is his get away time, and wait for him to call me. I think the biggest thing is that as me working in EMS also we don't see eachother alot anymore. I wish he would call more. Also, what is up with the strike team shit. Anyone else carry a pager around 24/7 hoping to get called out? Well he does-doesn't matter what time it is or what were doing he is always ready to go-VOLUNTARILY. So where does the line cross where I can ask him to stay home without him feeling like I don't support his job? (I really do-just not strike teams LOL)... Lastly... why is it that guys always act differently when they are at the station? Too much testosterone? What really goes on there!?
Dear Steph: I can sympathize with what you are feeling, but you need to understand that he is also committed to his career. I have been in the fire/ems service for 26 years now, and my husband was a firefighter for almost 30. There are many times during our relationship that work came first. (He was 100% volunteer). there were missed dinners, holidays, special occassions, etc. but I also knew that the firehouse was extremely important to him. One time I was listening to the radio while he was on a call right after a hugh fight because I didn't want to be home by myself again and heard that a firefighter was trapped in the building. At that point I realized how much I really loved him because I knew that I might never see him again. About 15 minutes later I heard his voice on radio and was really happy. I made myself a promise never to get upset when he leaves to go on a call, because he may never come back and I don't want my last memory of us together to be of us fighting. Yes you will get mad sometimes but try to understand that it is difficult for him to get a free minute to call you. My best advice is to try to talk to him. As for what really goes on at the firehouse, believe me not much. Most of the time the guys are cleaning the house, truck or they are making sure all the apparatus actually works. Yes they do sit and play from time to time and there is a lot of testerone. But most of the time it is basically harmless. The questions you need to ask yourself is: Do you trust your guy? If the answer is yes then trust yourself and sit back and relax. If you dont trust him then you need to make a break and date someone who works 9-5 mon thru fri a nice safe office job that has easy access to phones.
Sounds like he is just really eat up with it all. He has a new role and he is excited about it because he thinks it means something.
The FD house is his get away. My opinion is he is not ready for a true relationship. He still wants to go play with is friends and the toys.
He also may think you were being too clingy. Chill out and go out with your friends and leave him behind sometimes. If he is ok with that then you don't need him anyway. If he is not then that is your time to tell him how you feel about it all.
Boys will be boys and we don't want our friends to think we don't have a pair when it comes to our women.
Hope this helps some.
The problem is not the guy that's willing to give the shirt off his back to help a stranger. The problem is there is always someone willing to take it. It's a little like the story of the scorpion and the turtle. look it up if you haven't heard it before.
After 28 in the service, I have finally gotten a lot older. You as friend or whatever have to realize that he has made a big commitment to the fire service and to the public. On the other hand he has to start to let go. There are just some things that happen on his days off that he has got to realize he had no control over what happens and he can not do anything about it. On thing for sure, talk to him about, do not beat around the bush, be direct and force him to listen. I have been married 28 years to the same wonderful lady and we had this conversation a long time ago. I learned to let go and not worry about it. After years of having a scanner going in the house I have none and if work needs me then they can all call and I will go in, otherwise my time is for me and family!!!!! I understand what he is feeling and it will be one of the hardest things he has ever done, bar none. Zimm
The fire department is the best job in the world. It is a second family. Don't you wich you had a job that you are so excited about that you could not wait to be there. Don't be so uptight about the fire station. I did this for 37 years. The first wife was like you and called me all the time and didn't understand that emergencies don't give appoinmtents. It is a 24 hour 7 day a week job. Even when you are not there you are there. So be proud and excited for him that he has a job that a million people wich they had. If you try to pressure him into another position he would not be happy. Dont make it a choice between him and the job that will make it worse. My second wife a nurse understands that. She is excited when I got on a call out and she thinks that is outstanding that I am so passionate about my job. We have been together for 18 years. The "Strike Team Shit" is an important part of the job and gives him an opportunity to use his skills. If it was important enough to bring it up you should say cool I am so excited for you, have fun and be safe. As he gets older he will learn what the difference is between the two things he loves. You and the Department. You can do both.
Firefighting/EMS is usually a 24/7 job. As a female I guess I understand it because it is my life.
As far as "what really goes on down there?" It depends on the house. Leadership usually determines how loose or tight the house is. And if the people (male and female) on duty are pigs, well that's how they will act. There is almost always busting balls going on. (you don't have to have them to bust them haha) And if your wondering about people being unfaithful. Well if they do fool around its not because of their job its because of the person as an individual. If they are "that type" of person who does that to their spouse/significant other..........I'm sorry for their spouses. To me messing around is wrong and even if I was single I wouldn't mess with any of my co-workers/partners because it would feel like doing my sibling........ GROSSNESS
There is a closeness that develops with people you count on to have your back and you have theirs. But for me its like family. If you want to ask me questions or just talk feel free to contact me on my page. Take care!
YOU ALL SHOULD SEE THE MOVIE FIRE PROOF
YOU JUST MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.
Never Leave Your partner ( That is your Spouse )
No Matter What ! Forgiveness is an Blessing.
dont disgrace yourselves in front of your kids
remember one man one woman is the best creation God Every Created Thats YOU and Her... your Spouse.
so make time no matter what, both of you make time other wise your just another number in Failure.
Christian or Not ! When you Leave your job
then leave it, DO NOT Ever Bring Your Job Home.
Love your Spouse No Matter What.
when you make mistakes have forgivness, say i am sorry
if you can save and help others, then you can save your marriage and yourself.
if you need help then ASK for it.
Remember your human not God, you will need help one day
be thankful even if yo need to say God help me then say it you will feel better
have a good Day and Shift .
I'm dating a FF and I'm a FF myself. It is always hard to adjust to at first however; as time goes by you begin to realize what is important and that is your family and being a public servant. For your sake I hope you're able to understand that he loves his job and he must love you after a year and a half so know that no matter where he goes that is in the back of his mind. My man works for a full time department and I'm in the academy so we hardly ever have time to see eachother but we both know that no matter where we are or what we're doing we are number UNO to eachother!!! Good Luck and hang there girl... don't forget to stand by your man!
well i have been a firefighter for about two years now. i have went though a girlfriend that left me because of it. the number one thing to remember is that we are there to support the community and we also need someone to stand beside us with the care and love. just because we take off and don't call every five inutes don't mean that are families aren't on are mind.