I lived in a town of 500, and was the first and only girl to ever get on the department. I was married when I joined, but that didn't make a difference. The "boys" were more than willing to invite me to the bar for a drink or down sturgeon fishing, or all the things they had always done. It was the wives who threw a fit. I was just there to be a firefighter like everyone else.... NOT go trolling for their men. I already had one I had a world of problems with. I had been there 2 years and things were finally ok. Wives had accepted that I was not going to cause trouble or steal their guys when I got divorced and another volcano erupted. Now all of a sudden I was back to being "dangerous" even though I thought I had proved myself. I had just gotten out of a horrible marriage and anything to do with a guy was faaaarrrrrr from my mind. Especially with a married guy as my divorce came from him cheating on me. I would never to that to another women. It never did get better. I moved after my divorce to a slightly bigger town where there was another girl on the department and it was much better. I was suddenly friends with everyone, including the wives, and now have lifelong friendships out of it.
Some departments are just harder to deal with than others, especially being a girl.
I agree with getting to really know them, and their significant others. Its important that the wives don't feel threatened by you as a female.
I am lucky enough to be a firefighter and married to one. Our station and my brothers and sisters are excellent. We all know each other, and our families.
Also remember, you can't make everyone like you. Its a fact of life. The ones that don't, well that's their problem.
As to the post below about the GF's getting pissy.. Jealousy on their part. I agree with her statement that some of the FF's are afraid it will cause rifs in their personal relationships. Stay strong and keep trying to reach out. If it never happens, think about transferring to a different house.
I am so grateful and lucky to have the firefighters we have up here in Grand County. There are a bunch of female FF, and everyone gets along