Social Relationships with other Members?

Hey gals, I have another question to pose to you. How do you get along with the guys on your dept in social situations, such as going out on the weekends, or grabbing some beers after a late call? Part of why I got into firefighting was because I wanted to be part of that brotherhood, where you know and take care of each other and each other's families. Well at my dept, the brotherhood and love seems to be lacking already, but I can't help feeling like I am being purposefully excluded. The guys all go out together and drink and party on the weekends, and no one ever calls me or invites me, despite me saying that I would like to be called or go out with them once in a while. Also, brand new (male) members that got on after me, are included in things such as firefighter's kids bdays at the park, etc. I am friendly at the fire station, say hi to everyone, crack jokes, ask ppl how they are doing, how's life, how's the family? I don't know what more I can do to make this a good and happy experience. What started as something that was supposed to be a joy, is now feeling like an obligation. Any words of wisdom?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mallory Turner on May 15, 2013 at 8:35pm

There is some severe issues with you not trusting those you work with. If you can't trust the people you're charging into burning building with, maybe try a lateral transfer. Or if you really want to change careers, maybe it's time. You honestly sound miserable at your station

Permalink Reply by Mallory Turner on May 15, 2013 at 8:44pm

I am so glad I am as fortunate as I am to live in the community I live in and volunteer with the station I'm with. We have plenty of firefighters here, men and women, who both accept and encourage anyone who comes to the station. We all go out together, we work well together, we joke. When one is struggling, everyone is there to lend a helping hand. Maybe I live in Firefighter Dreamland but as a female who happens to be a firefighter, I've encountered maybe three men out of all of them, who either blatantly or subtly suggested I can't keep up. You can't win them all. I've honestly encountered more absurd behavior from women, who insist the only reason to join a station is to find a hot firefighter husband -_- Suggest a night out after a shift change, invite a few outside friends to go (just in case they all say no) and invite THEM to YOUR outing. Maybe just breaking the ice is all you need.

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