Sometimes i just want to pull out my hair. I find it almost imposible to jugle being a single mom of a 2 year old, whos father took off, work full time while trying to get my foot in the door, and just taking care of the little man.
I hope so, b.c there is nothing else i would rather do. But sometimes i wonder....am i sacrifising a normal life for my son so i can have the career that i have always dreamed of? And is that fair to him?
Andrea, it most certainly does get easier. Basically as a child becomes more self reliant, the stress seems to alleviate itself. I have been a single mom since my daughter was 18 months. I get very little help from her Dad, she basically sees him a couple of times a year and is not a part of raising her (which sometimes can be a blessing... there are some great Dads out there, unfortunately he is not one of them). When she was little I worked two full time jobs and a part time gig as well as a caterer. I worked one job for a while and put myself into some serious financial issues, but in the grand scheme of things it was worth it to spend more time at home. I know work two jobs again, one being shift work of course the other I work when my daughter is at school or practice, so it works out a little better.
Kids are resilient and smart, they take advantage of the time they have with you, so spend it wisely and teach him well. My daughter has grown up to be quite a cool kid and seeing you work hard is never a bad thing. You can use this to teach some pretty great lessons about responsibility, prioritizing and basically just being a good person!! Take some deep breaths and every time you feel like it's impossible, remember it's not. I remember feeling this way soooo many times. It took a long time and we're still not completely settled (I still don't own a home), but things are great. It gets better, keep pushing forward and try to enjoy the time with your little guy, they grow up so fast!!!
HI, read your discussion and wanted to let you know you are not alone. I just finished my EMT back in December and I am going thru a Divorce right now just so i can move to Houston to start a job. I have 3 daughters 17(who is blind) 14(who is leaving a boyfriend and does not want to go) and an 11(who will stick by my side no matter where i go) Its not easy when you think about first starting out, but you need to try and think of the future. I am a firm believer that children are not truely happy unless the parent they are with is happy. I left their father when my youngest was 2years old and she doesnt even remember that we lived together. Get thru school and do what makes you happy, your son will follow! Children are more resilliant than we think. I am here and on myspace if you ever need or want to talk. Wendy
Your not alone out there I am the rare breed of single fathers. I have a 16yr old a 12yr old and 5 yr old and sadly the world views single dads different and its not easy being dad and mom when you have 2 teenage daughters,,lol,, Stay strong and find away to have some adult time for you when you can but in the end YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON!!!!!
I feel your pain! While I'm not a single parent, I am working a fulltime job, going through EMT classes, and volunteering at two fire departments as I try to get on as a fulltime firefighter. I am lucky, though, in that I have an awesome family that is very supportive of my endeavors. I certainly understand the feeling of wanting to pull out your hair. The way I look at it, the sacrifice that I am making now will reap great benefits, not only for me, but for my family later on down the road. Just stay after it, and it will pay off in the end.
You hang in there. Everything will get better. Children are testy and like to see what they can get away with. Stay firm and strong. Hang in there and things will get better. Good luck on your journey for work.
Yes, there will be sacrifices that you make along the way. But in the end, they will be worth it.
You are entering a large family that will be willing to help you out.
What kind of support system do you have now? Family? Friends?
Get the father out of your life for now. He chose his path and you DO NOT need added stress everytime he decides to re-materialize in your's.
Concentrate on son, school and job/job search.
Things will fall into place.
Wow...thank you..all of you for your words of encouragement and advise. It means a lot to me..and sometimes it helps out more than you know to just hear other people tell you it will be ok. Even the strongest rocks tumble down the hill sometimes. So thanks everyone for caring enough to say a few words!!
Stick with it. I know that as a single parent myself, our schedule is actually really great for having time with our kids. It is hard to get started, but once there you will be able to do a lot with your son that even houses with two parents dont get to do. School trips and the like are actually available for us because of our crazy schedules. Stick it out. Not only is it gonna get better, but you will have support from your new family at the station as well. Good luck and stay safe!!!
I have to admire you. Anyone who can single handedly juggle having children, a full time job and still have the drive to begin a career is quite impressive in my eyes. I am a father of 3, and I know the incredible cost of childcare. There is no consideration for how much you make an hour, just an inflated expectation for pay desired to watch your children. Often times it is cheaper for one parent to stay home, while the other parent works because childcare would cost more a week than one parent would bring home in net pay.
My only sound advice for you is to never give up, and keep moving forward. It may seem like a milestone that is always out of reach, but if you keep moving forward eventually the pieces to your puzzle will come together for you. Be well, stay safe, and keep the faith