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How can I prove my self and not let other females in the field get to me?
To start off my name is kayla. I have been in the Fire and EMS field for about a year not and i love it. I really want to make a career out of it. I have great support from people i love but i need some help on this one. I'm in my firefighter I class right now and I'm half way through. I'm in a class with another female to. She is nice and all but tends to have a reputation to be a flirt at the hall. Normally i one to let people probe me wrong on reputations but her's has turned out to be true, unfortunately. Whats getting me is i feel that her in the class is starting to effect my determination to prove my self. I'm not going to lie i'm a average size nothing amazing but i will work for this and give it my all. I know that i will not get away on looks and know that there will be things i can't do but i also know that there will be thing i can do that someone else can't. I know i can't single hardly raise a 28 extension ladder but put me in a tight space or high up and i'm fine. Just gets me every time cause i bust my but in class and she just skates by.
So how do i learn to deal with females in the field that may not have the same ambition as me to prove them self and gain respect the right way?
So how do i learn to deal with females in the field that may not have the same ambition as me to prove them self and gain respect the right way?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ray Edwards on
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Just be yourself. This is the problem with people these days. Why do you have to "prove yourself ?" All you need to be concerned with is doing what you are there for. You only have to prove yourself to you and your instructors . Is this other girl going to get you through the class ? Pay attention to you . You will make it. Good luck and God Bless.
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Permalink Reply by Julie on
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Girl, don't even worry about it. The guys might drool over her, but guys aren't dumb. They know who is trying, and who isn't. My teachers treated me no differently than the guys and the guys treated me no different, because they saw my committment. You might not think anyone notices you, but chances are they will want you to be there partner over her any day. She might be pretty, but pretty can't pull you out of a building when your air runs out. Having another girl there should make you want to prove things even more but at the same time, brush it off and don't let her get to you. In the end, you will come out on top. Good luck girl!
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Permalink Reply by lori Tallman on
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As Long as she's flirting she's not learning.. You need to focus on what your doing and why you are in the class to begin with.. I felt the same way when i went through class but i was focusing on why i'm there and pretend that you are just one of the guys and ignore her.. if she talks to you be nice but be sturn..when you go through your next level of traing ( mine was LIVE BURN) she almost never made it. just sit back and watch her deplete.. you'll gain alot more confidence in yourself than she is..
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Permalink Reply by Al (olddogg) Westbrook on
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kayla ,
I'm sorry you are having to go through this type of garbage, but glad to read you have a support group from the people who care about you . As has already been said , do your job,work hard at what you want and you can achieve it .don't be distracted by another who doesn't have the same work ethic you do . Over the last 25 years I have have had two great women partner EMT/FF 's on the ambulance where I work as a EMTP /FF . They were great on the street and fought fire with gusto ! One of the two was kinda small , but I knew she would do her utmost to get me out if she needed to ,and I knew I could just toss her out if I needed to :) ,but we knew we could count on each other in the clinch because we had "earned" the respect of our peers as you have / will do . Keep the faith girl and you'll go far .
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Permalink Reply by Norman E. Flanders on
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Kayla,
First and foremost congrats on wanting to be a FF and for your effort to seek advice. Your problem is not new to the fire service or is it just between women. It happens with men also.
A lot of good advice has been passed on to you....learn from it.
As others have stated "Just do your job. It's that simple." Don't allow her or her actions get to you. That will only be a distraction {where it seems to be heading}, and you'll only get madder and this will affect your goals.
Remember your in this for yourself, your FD, community and no one else. Listen, Learn and be you. Remember Being something your not is always wrong and does come back to bite you in time. Be who you are, a woman wanting to become the best she can be in today's fire service and be able to do her job so that she and others don't get hurt or killed.
You're not there to impress anyone, you're there to seek knowledge and training it's not a place to be a flirt or be distracted. But if the instructors allow it shame on them. {That's another topic.}
So my advice as a Chief Officer is: step back, look at where you want to go, set a new mind set in regards to her not effecting you and maintain your avenue of success towards your goals.
Sometimes that's all it will take.......you resetting your priorities and your goals.....looking at what Kayla wants and what it will take to get there.
With your boyfriends support, the advice of others on FFN and resetting your goals, you'll do ok.
I worked with woman in the Air Guard and they to could do the job. I'd fight fire with them and any woman who's knowledgeable, a team oriented individual and is not going to put my ass in danger because she didn't pay attention during training. Male or female we're all equal in the eyes of the fire fight. We have a job to do and together we're a team.
Kayla, Good luck!!! With your attitude and concern I'd take you on FD anytime... stay safe, train often and share knowledge.
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Permalink Reply by Kayla on
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First off i want to say thanks from the bottom of my heart for the out reach.
The advice has helped more then you know. Right now my FFI class is burning buildings and we just happened to have started today. It was interesting cause a couple of classes ago i went through the hardest time ever, and the guys in the class were really there for me, they really showed they cared, even the instructors. It showed me that they really see more then what i thought. Recently i have also gotten to work with the girl in my class. Its been interesting but i have noticed that your right, that I'm going to come across people like that, have to work with them to. That I need to just do my best, learn all i can, and keep moving forward. How she deals with the class is her business. I can only change me not here. Its been funny cause after these past couple of messages i was talking to some of the guys and they said along with the instructors how well i'm doing and that i'm keeping up. It was really reinforced today when the instructor got me to take lead and said i did everything right and did great. And on top of it i even heard that at our station the Ass. Chief sees good things in me. So this just showed me that no matter what everyone else dose i can only change what i go and that its about the job. It not like you can choose who to go fight fires with , you have to learn to work with everyone. Its really helped me to gain confidence that i can make it and that my efforts are seen and not overshadowed.
So thank you everyone for your support
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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on
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Do your job and do it better than anyone else...that's the quickest way to "prove" yourself....Be ready, able and willing to do whatever comes down...whether it be something interesting or something totally boring and mundane....As far as letting other females get to you...if you are in the Fire Service to be liked then maybe you have the wrong ideals....we are here to provide a service....to hell what they think....does it really matter...? Stay safe and always remember to keep the faith...........Paul
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Permalink Reply by Nanny on
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Don't worry about her.. Just do your job.
There is always going to be someone that annoys someone, in any field. I had this when I work on a Haz Mat team. I was the only girl. There were 2 guys that bugged the H--l out of me. Trying to get me to screw up.
But instead they are the ones that screwed up.
I just pull my boots up the strap and worry about myself.
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Permalink Reply by Kirk D. Baughman on
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do your job don't worry about the others around you are doing. you are in this because that is what you want. why worry about what the other person looks like or doing.
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Permalink Reply by Tim on
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The quickest way to accomplish it is to not let anyone else get to you. When you start paying more attention to what everyone else is thinking about you or any other topic, you start to lose focus on your abilities. The instructors in the class already know who are the ones that they can count on, who is there to do the job, and who is there for other reasons. Just concentrate on doing your job and being the best you can be at it. You will prove yourself with time and effort. Always remember, everyone makes mistakes. The secret to being good at anything is to admit you made a mistake and learn from that mistake. As long as you learn something from it, it's not a total loss. In the end, you will know that you earned your place through skill and determination and that should be satisfaction enough. As always, you know where you can come for help.
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Permalink Reply by Paul Everson on
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Hi Kayla, There is always someone like that when you get a group together. It is not a male/ female thing... it is not gender specific! Just do your best. At class and at the station keep your opinions to yourself...do not let it get to you and give others the impression that you have a bad attitude.
Paul
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Permalink Reply by Michael J Burke on
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Just keep giving 110% and do your best. Let her pave her own way. people will respect you because you work hard and earned your way instead of doing other ways.
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