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Relationships in the firehouse...what's your take?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, we met at the firehouse when i joined, and we have successfully managed to (as i like to say) 'divorce' on the fire scene. even when he was in serious danger, i kept my cool and continued to do what i was told. I know not everyone can accomplish that. i was just wondering if anyone else is in or has been in a successful firehouse relationship or if anyone is completely against it?
what's your opinion?
what's your opinion?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Becky Null on
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My husband and I both work for the same department. We only have 8 stations. Our stations are adjacent to each other. We are each others back up if needed. Yesterday we had an MVA rollover that also caught the grass in the median on fire. He was on the ambulance and I was on the Engine. My department does Fire/EMS/Rescue all in one. We are all cross trained. We weren't around each other, well at all. He was tending to the patient and I was working on the fire. On a scene you will never know that we are married. We have made sure that everyone knows that when we are at work, we are not married. You know what I mean. We have been at the same department for roughly 2 years and the same shift for 1 year. It seems to work very well. Since we live and hour from the county, we car pool so that helps out tremendously.
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Permalink Reply by emtbeth752 on
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My husband and I have been married for 13 yrs and we are both in the same dept, however I run EMS and he does the Firefighting/EMS. Both are together, so we do work together as Vol. and it works out great for us. We both know we have a job to do and we do it. Fire dept. things are just that fd things and home things are left at home. Unless it is something major we don't talk about what goes on there at home. Good luck and like I said 13 yrs here. He is my rock and knows what I go through as I do him. Again Good Luck and Stay SAFE!!!
Beth
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Permalink Reply by 214Firefighter18 on
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Well I have not dated anyone in the firehouse...but am thinking its cause I am too ugly LOL Just kidding...sorry folks had to try to lighten things up. We have had Husband/wife duos in the firehouse and it can work but the relationship has to be strong to begin with because if it is not the atmosphere of a firehouse is not conducive to success in relationships from what I have seen.
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Permalink Reply by 99 on
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We would lose half our members if relationships were not allowed. Most are husband and wife that either joined together or not.
We only had one issue where a "couple" allowed their relationship to interfere with the dept. That issue was resolved after much drama. The remaining members have learned from that lesson as has the Board. But as I said...to say only one of you can join cuts our team in half and we are hard pressed as it is.
Small town...small dept...the trick is getting adults to behave like adults.
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Permalink Reply by Lt2406 on
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First off I wish you all the best if you both can make it work, BUT, in the event something goes wrong somebody usually ends up having to quit the department, I have seen this first hand twice at my volley station, it was great while it lasted but in both cases it got real bad before 1 left and in the other case both left.
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Permalink Reply by John Mc. on
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Personally im against relationships inside the fire house. I mean not many people can "divoce" on scene and if something happened people would go crazy and all that other stuff which is why I'm happy my girlfriend is at a different company out of my district let alone county so if anything did happen the drama and confusion would be kept to a minimum. But thats just me.
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Permalink Reply by LadyChaplain on
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I would have to say that I am against dating within the firehouse. I know some people who have successfully done it, but I wouldn't say I encourage it. I know that there are some girls that join the fire service just for the hopes of gaining some romantic connection, but it doesn't always work out and then after accruing training they quit.
If firefighters (especially those in the volunteer world) want to be considered professionals, then I think they should adhere to the relationship policies like those that often exist in the business world.
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Permalink Reply by Dan Hoey on
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I can tell you about a volunteer station that needs someone to cover almost all their calls and it comes from One event. A chief that started sleeping with another guys girl friend who father is an ex chief and she is a LT.
I n a matter of weeks this caused so much anger and BS we would not call them for mutual aid if well your life depended on it. Does it work sometimes sure but most times its a bad idea..With that said is anyone single????..LOL
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GR: I stand by what I said previously in my last line. I know that a married couple within a dept COULD work, but that doesn't mean that it always will... and it could open up a can of worms because there are couples that might join together and they may not function well. In allowing relationships within the firehouse it leaves the option open to a lot of potential drama......
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Permalink Reply by Michele on
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Today, I'm totally against the idea for many of the same reasons listed in other replies. It is a headache. Now 20 years ago, I joined my local volunteer department, met my husband of 17 years who was an Lt. at the time we met. To make matters worse, my stepdad was the Captn. It was hard to leave home at home and the dept. at the dept. My step dad did a great job of not showing favoritism but he was hard on me. Definitely harder than on anyone else and we talked about it at the time. I understood his point and didn't baulk at it, even when I resented it. It was harder being a ff under my fiance then husband who was the Lt. It's impossible to not make things personal no matter how hard you try.
Now if you can be at different stations where he's not directly working over or under you then that might work. But people still watch and they'll interpret things the wrong way, gauranteed. Now nearly 20 years later, my dad is retired and my husband gave up being a vollie years ago. I'm all alone and loving not having the burden with working with family. It strained our relationships for years afterwards and we had a good working relationship, we just didn't always see eye to eye.
Another view point, is my step dad really worried about being my Captain because how would he live with himself, if I was hurt or killed while following an order from him? Something to think about.
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Permalink Reply by Maygin on
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I think that it is usually unavoidable. Usually...I mean you start to hang out with the same people with emotions running high after calls and we only understand what each other is going through with bad stuff goes down and etc etc etc. Our dept went through a bad time when all of our "older more respensible members" all of our officers went through a "wife-swapping" phase. It was extremly embaressing for the rest of us having to deal with their constant drama and airing of their dirty laundry. So it kinda turned me off having husband and wife be officers at the same time but in the dept as regular members i dont think you can avoid it.
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Permalink Reply by Danny on
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I have seen a couple relationships at the fire house and both of them have ended and not in a good manner. I suppose if the people are adult enough and keep the problems out of the fire house it would be ok. The couple that i have seen the problems follow no matter what ya try and do there is that friction. So over all i guess if it works great and if not keep it out of the fire house.
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