Dating a firefighter/EMT

Hello everyone. I am new here and am NOT a firefighter or EMT at all but have recently started dating one. I have questions and concerns I am hoping those here can and are willing to assist me with.

He is wonderful. Of course look at what he does for a living. What I am realizing however is that the job ALWAYS comes first. So my concerns are as follows...he can go for a day or 2 even 3 without talking to me at all then we get together and it seems like everything is great so is it safe for me to assume that this job is that demanding of his time? We have talked about it and it seems that way. He is always at the firehouse and I know the members are a family unit away from home so to speak. We can be texting back and forth fine then he dissapears for hours at a time and only replies when I happen to send him a text asking if all is well. I have asked him to just kindly text me or give me a call after he has to run like that to let me know he is OK and he can't seem to do that.

Can anyone help me understand the struggles I am looking at by being with a firefighter?

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Permalink Reply by Heather on May 20, 2008 at 7:15am

I actually have both books...bought them when my husband left thinking I could work on understanding him and how to love him again...well anyway...

I need to go an re-read them. Thanks for the 'bear hug' tidbit, you are quite correct. I am actually working on giving him some space and letting him run the show so to speak a bit. Trying to learn him some by observing.

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Permalink Reply by Heather on May 20, 2008 at 7:16am

Ah I see. Well I too had a bad temper and realized it was destructive so I work everyday on keeping it hidden away in the closet. Glad the 2 of you are such great friends now. That is wonderful and such a benefit.

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Permalink Reply by Dillon on May 20, 2008 at 6:39pm

well i'm dating a fireman myself! for four years now! and he calls me everytime he gets off a call as soon as he's able - he doesn't want me to worry... the job can be seriously demanding, large fires can go for days - my man was at a fire for 3 days once - but he still managed to call... i worry myself sick sometimes because it's such a dangerous job, and he knows that and makes sure to call, his brothers are his brothers but his family comes first... it sounds like he might be using that as an excuse, or maybe he doesn't think that the relationship is at that point yet, whichever you should talk to him and tell him how worried you are and if he still doesn't call him out and tell him it's unacceptable (because it is) that he doesn't care enough about you to tell you he's ok... oh and btw if he thinks ur over reacting your not - my guy fell through two stories into the basement of a house because the floor collapsed and the stairs were on fire so he couldn't get out that way... it's not over reacting it's dangerous and things do happen....