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i need some advice
so there is this girl in my fire station, she's ems primary but occasionally will run a fire duty crew. she is sweet as icing to everyone but me. which i really don't care about. however what i do care about is this--- i was out for two months cause i had surgery on my ankle...well while i was gone we switched from msa to scott, i went up to the station last night to get qualified on it. my officer went over the pack with me and after about 10 minutes he had me put it on, turn my hood around, and crawl through a small obstacle course- well since it was my first time wearing it and i had gloves on, trying to take the pack off to get through the one obstacle posed as a challenge. and who do i hear laughing in the midst of everyone else encouraging me?- her (no names) but she was laughing at me and i dont know what to do about this. she is a complete b-tch because i pose "female competition" to her ( she likes to go to the fire house to flirt with the guys and i guess she thinks thats what i want) so i dont know what to do about her. her mom has gotten people kicked out for "talking" about her ( not that anyone was lying when they did call her names) but i need help, i do not know what to do about her short of punching her in the face!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andrew Kersten on
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What I would do is go to the cheif or ranking officer at your station. There is no room for that in the fire service.
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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on
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Sounds to me like there may be two attitudes that might need a little adjusting here...your officers should get you both together abd work things out....there is NO room in the fireservice for this bull....your lives may depend on each other...then what....?? I would bet you wouldn't be calling each other names....this isn't a game.....people can and do die every day in this line of work.....you BOTH need to grow up a little....You don't have to like one another...but you do have to work with each other....Stay safe...Keep the Faith (Think about that one)....Paul.....PS sorry if I was a little harsh...but its what I think and that's what you asked for...
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Permalink Reply by Ani Malool on
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That is redic. I would not stand for that. If I were her, I wouldn't be laughing at you cause what if you're her partner in a house fire. I know I sure as hell want my partner to be comforable with the scott. She should be helping you, not laughing at you and being a bitch. She's probably jealous cause you're a better firefighter than her lol you need to go to your ranking officer. She shouldn't be in the firehouse to flirt with guys... go to a bar and do that.
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Permalink Reply by Engineco913 on
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Why not ask her how she wears her hair under her helmet? Great minds never forget. ;)
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Permalink Reply by Tim on
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Sandy,
I know how you feel, I am in a situation similar where I do not get along with someone as well. When I brought the issue forward here on this site, I am getting slammed by several people here on this site, they think I am being a jerk.
My thoughts are to try and approach this other person, (male or female) and try to work things out without dragging the higher-ups into it. If you cannot, well you have 2 choices, deal with her or say something to your superiors. I personally dont like putting up with this stuff, since this is supposed to be a more professional field, but as I am finding out, that is not always the case.
As I have been told on this site by others, "we only hear your side of the story...." well thats true here too. Without knowing the full story I can only assume that you are frustrated, as I am too.
If you figure out an answer let me know. . . . .
As far as I can figure, if you don't at least work SOME kind of a solution out with this person, this will get worse, and the situation will rear it's ugly head at the worst time.
just take everything you get here with a grain of salt, lol, so far it seems though that the few replies you have gotten are at least adult in their manor, which is better than what I have gotten.
Good luck and let me know how it works out -
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Permalink Reply by Kristy Oxholm on
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Sandy,
I think you need to take a good hard look at the whole situation. If you had your hood on backwards and couldn't see, how do you know she was laughing at you and not something else?
You refer to her as a complete b-tch, but then mention the thought of punching her in the face. Even if you were just using that as a figure of speech, it shows that you are not thinking about the problem in a mature manner.
I have had issues like this in the past. I have found that the best thing to do is to grit my teeth and see if the situation gets better on its own. Some have (in fact some of those people are now among my closest friends), some haven't. If the situation doesn't get better then you have to decide if you want to go to an officer and work through the chain of command.
Good luck!
Kristy -
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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on
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Don't do anything; ignore her. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when training on new things for the first time. Great - that's what training is all about. Make mistakes, learn from them, and move on. If she's immature enough to laugh at others' mistakes she hasn't been sufficiently humbled yet; her turn will come.
As I stated in another post: focus on becoming the best you can be. Learn all you can about the business; train; ask questions; take notes; do whatever it takes to excel.
Pretty soon she won't be laughing. And, you will make your father some kind of proud. -
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Permalink Reply by Patrick Twohig on
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It is a proven fact that that two woman cant get along on the same shift. I think the best thing to do is mind your own bussiness and strive to be the best you can. In todays service Chiefs dont like people that come to them with problems about other members, they feel we are adults and can handle it ourselves. I have a young female that works on my shift that is kinda in the same situation, but I encourage her to strive for perfection. It has taken awhile but everyone has come to realize what a floozy the other woman really is. The best thing I can tell you is keep your head up, you aint there for a popularity contest, strive for perfection, eventually you will promote and the crowd will come around. Good luck
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It is a proven fact that that two woman cant get along on the same shift
First off I am pulling the BS button out here. Your storyline is a farse and is based on the fact you sided with one female and not the other. In a REAL brotherhood/sisterhood, you don't choose sides and the house irons the problems out. If they are still willing to fight, train them until they are so tired the fights out of them. Women can work in unison without problems in the fire service, I have seen so myself. Get your mind out of the ground, women are important in the fire service, regardless of your opinion. Isn't it FDNY that has a shift of all females on the same rig? Man, that must be terrible. Get real -
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Permalink Reply by J Mac on
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Hey Sandy,
Here is my two cents…….
Fight the good fight!
No not with your fist. LOL That one moment of satisfaction would be very costly. If she gets people thrown out for names, what would happen if you rung her bell? Real bad idea.
Ignore her. Be the firefighter who others look up too. Hard work and dedication will gain you the respect of your peers. If you don’t earn hers along the way it probably wasn’t worth having in the first place.
Now back to the SCBA issue. During the down time throw your coat and pack on and practice the profiles and releases to you become proficient at them. Next add the gloves and continue working on it. When you have mastered these skills add the backwards hood.
Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect!
Mastering these skills might not make a difference to your friend but it could make a huge difference for you.
Stay safe!
J Mac -
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Permalink Reply by Bobby King on
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Punch her in the face.. Violence is not always the best option but its always an option lol.. No seriously Kill her with Kindness.. The best way to get rid of a disease is to take company with it .. if that dont work get the brass involved..
Sgt Bobby J King
Madison County Div of Emergency Services
Firefighter Rescue Tech -
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Permalink Reply by Chiefy on
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All right, all right. I think EVERYONE is making some assumptions here that should not be brought into it. There are only a couple of ways to resolve differences in the firehouse. I say firehouse because there are no differences on the fire ground......or else.
Now, of the choices, only a couple are within regulations.
1) Get intervention within the chain of command. Ask your duty officer to take action on this now as a neutral peacekeeper, and/or
2) Kill her with kindness. Be such a wonderful, helpful, regulation following, sister firefighter and make HER show everyone that she is the problem and she will realize that being a problem child doesn't cut it in the fire service.
Your station must be slow if you have time for personality games. I guarantee that if you two work together on one very serious fire or Peds call, you two will share the bond obviously missing between you two.
The only way to win at a disagreement is a total removal of animosity toward each other.
If you can't see you going back into a fire to save her or the other way around, then get the hell out of the fire service. And do everyone a favor and take her with you.........or fix it. Your choice. -
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