Relationships in the firehouse...what's your take?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, we met at the firehouse when i joined, and we have successfully managed to (as i like to say) 'divorce' on the fire scene. even when he was in serious danger, i kept my cool and continued to do what i was told. I know not everyone can accomplish that. i was just wondering if anyone else is in or has been in a successful firehouse relationship or if anyone is completely against it?
what's your opinion?

0 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by nita on August 29, 2007 at 12:59am

I didn't necessarily mean the guys at the fire house were talking. The only(or one of few) females in a dept. is usually a topic of conversation in the public. At least that's how it's been around here...and there are prejudgements regardless of our intentions or actions. I feel the same as you about working with anyone regardless of thier differences in race or sex or whatever. But sometimes it is difficult...although still rewarding...to be the one everyone wonders about. I just don't think that a man in the fire service falls under quite the same scrutiny as a woman on certain things...and sometimes we just like to vent...lol
I can honestly say...I wouldn't want to be doing anythind else regardless of some of those judgements.....I just don't care so much anymore what anyone thinks...
I have a good friend who is senior to me and has the best way of wording things.
One day I was so mad at one of our district chiefs....he's a noisy know it all...and not liked by many. Anyway....I was on sick leave for a little surgery I had and my friend was stopping by to see me and see if I needed anything. This particular DC made a comment to him..."how often do you have to go by and service her"
Well it pissed me off of course but my friends comment back to him was "pretty regular". LOL... In other words he just put him in his place and let him know it wasn't really his business. I'm not sure if my little story was really relavent but no one would have said that if a guy was checking on his "guy friend". It's just a little different sometimes in our shoes.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Matthew on August 29, 2007 at 2:52am

Wow...dating an officer*... That is simply trouble. Beyond the point that dating in the firehouse(and EMS is included in the firehouse) is a bad idea. It creates problems... Don't S#@$ where you eat, Firefighting is a job and I am hardcore against dating in the workplace.

* By the way being your boyfriend is the Lieutenant, he is leaving himself wide open for compromising his credibility as an officer. All someone has to do is accuse him of favortism on your behalf, or for himto settle something with you involved as an officer, and it's over for him. He will lose the respect and trust he has worked hard to gain in an instant... It's just a BAD BAD idea

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Matthew on August 29, 2007 at 2:59am

Nah dan you are not alone. I'm with you. As long as they can do the job they have my respect whether they be black, brown, white, green, purple, male or female..we have a job to do, and we all want to go home safe when it's done.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Matthew on August 29, 2007 at 3:10am

You know as much as I support women in the fire service I'm currently puzzled by the posts you have put up. You put up a post about respect, and then another about dating in the firehouse. Regardless of the timeline and which came first, the point is they are contradictions to each other. You ask about respect, speak of doubters and ask to just be treated fairly, but you are dating a Lieutenant: of course people are going to doubt you. Without knowing you and how everything has gone down in your career, I'd say you are painting the picture of the stereotypical girl in the firehouse to meet cute firemen(even if that isn't the case). Now in our business "Perception is Reality" (learn that phrase cause it will be with you for your full career; I'm basing my previous statement on it). I understand romantic sparks can fly and things just happen that way sometimes... I believe in my heart of hearts, it is going to create problems for both of you in the long run... I think it's going to perpetuate the doubts about your abilities and it could begin to create doubts about you boyfriends abilities as an officer. Simply put it creates trouble. If it's not acceptable at a fine establishment(thats sarcastic, you'll see why) like Hooters to date in the workplace, why should it be ok in the firehouse?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Engineco913 on August 29, 2007 at 6:23am

I woulnd't read too far into the story line matthew. Sometimes when you have 2 single folks that are attracted to each other (and it's not deemed profesional) things just happen. Whether it is consumed in the moment or not. In this situation she has on her page, it was a 2 year relationship, not like a 2 night one. As you can see, she said she "divorced (nice choice of word) at the firehouse, so it is over. You never know, I am sure there are people in relationships in the same house across the world that are working fine. It's not fair to base any negative thoughts towards Sandy for being human. Personally if it became a major issue of anyone sleeping around the firehouse, a small SOG change could fix the issue permanently.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Sandy113 on August 29, 2007 at 11:35am

first of...i'm not career i'm volunteer. second off, they don't doubt my abilities once i get going. it's just one of those things where they are shocked once i do it...and our relationship has worked in the fd for two years now...no problems at all, except the doubts in the begining that it would last of course, but it is!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Dan Hoey on August 29, 2007 at 12:35pm

I agree with you that women in the service are held up to more scrutiny and judged by a hard view then men. Is that fair no but it is real and for that all of you have my empathy. I agree the good old boy club still is there and that socks for all for lots of reasons. Things I feel are unfair in the service is points given in hiring for women, people of color and other reasons. I also find that the women who do this job and do it right have the same attitude as you and thats why you are able to handle the BS that comes but I have also seen a women promoted for no other reason then her sex and she is a danger to other males and females. When I worked EMS shifts and not suppression my partner most of the time was a female and she was an excellent medic as well as a fire fighter and yeah there was issues in my own home with me being alone so much with her from my wife and that was unfair for my partner because she did nothing to make this happen and I also have seen what the wrong women ina house can cause as well as the wrong man, So in the end good people are good people and the bad ones are there and we all need to watch for those.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by turk182 on August 29, 2007 at 1:29pm

I do not have a problem with dating in the house but it it does have some draw backs like i said when it comes to disiplinary actions every women in my house is dating or married to some one in the station.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by capt4021 on August 29, 2007 at 1:38pm

I use to have a girlfriend that was in the fire service. Thats how we met but it just made things worst when she joined my department. The main thing was when i had to suspend her for disobeying an order. She understood that she was in the wrong but she thought just because i was an officer she could get away with that. But if you can make it work more power to you guys and i hope everything works out for you.