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Permalink Reply by Tony P on February 18, 2009 at 6:16am

Because of the stress this game brings us, we always need to be aware of our mates, be aware that maybe one of them is quieter than usual, noisier than usual, whatever. When we notice that difference, that's the time to try and find out from them what the problem is. We can help. This is something we go over regularly, when we bring up in peoples minds that Post Traumatic Stress is a reality, that to suffer from it is not a weekness, that anyone of any age and experience level can suffer from it. And anyone suffering from it needs some help. By the way, we also offer all possible help to the families of members - they also can suffer just from knowing what their family member is going through.

This is how I read your call for 'gentleness'. The need for compassion with our workmates.

The problem you see could be easily ego. Could easily be pride. We all know the types, the macho-man, the tough guy, or to put it another way the person without an imagination, the person without compassion. The person who is likely to refuse to acknowledge the issue when he himself falls victim to it. The person who is then likely to lose everything because of his changed behaviour. Why? Because this problem often shows itself by us treating our partner harshly, our children harshly, our friends harshly, our work colleagues harshly. I know of this, but it hasn't happened to me. I'm happy to admit it when 'things' are getting to much for me. I talk it out with family, with the other members of the Brigade. I don't suffer from foolish pride.

As many here would know, we're sufferning here right now. Things have been bad, very bad. We are all looking after each other. Is that your gentleness Dan?

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Permalink Reply by Dozin Dan on February 18, 2009 at 9:25am

That is part of what I am talking about. It seems that people throw there lives on the lin and come out with the satisfaction, but under it all there is evil chewing away at their innerself. Causing them to lash out, react to quickly. I often see people under stressors that hand out a tongue lashing that if it were a real trauma situatiion you best be pumpin fluids and do some serious bleeding control, for the words of harshness can cut so deep and remain for years to come. It is said that gentleness can turn away wrath, it can build life. With gentleness we can difuse a situation, we can encourage our brothers and sisters. It takes more strenght (self control) to be gentle than it does to rule with the iron fist. When it comes to Ego and pride I think that we forget our weaknesses, our short falls. Shoot we all have had a piece of Humble pie in our lives, have we not?! We have all messed up!

It is tough all over, people loosing homes, marriages falling apart, jobs disappearing, and people are hurting. The stressors of life continue to consume and run our emotions, but that is where an individual must reach deep within and let their heart break. Let the bitterness and anger out. Then fill it with love and compasion hte likes we have for our patients, victems of emergency situations.

I have done a lot of soul searching and have found a way to relieve myself of stress. I not getting preachy or anything, but I do trust in God to help me with my Burdens. It has been a good transition for me for I do not carry anger with me anymore.

I am hoping that some us can make the difference in the hall/ station, for we need to be a family and support each other. We also must remember our family at home, and do all things possible to keep the hurtful actions and words out of our home.

Stay safe Brothers and Sisters
Dan

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Permalink Reply by John on February 18, 2009 at 9:33am

At my station we tend to joke around alot when at the house, we actually will like pick on each other in a joking way, nothing harsh. but when the tone goes out we are all business. When a tradgedy hits we are all there for our Brother with any help they need.

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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on February 18, 2009 at 9:33am

I have to disagree with you there Dan....Yes, we ride each other, we pull pranks on each other....we act like rival siblings from time to time....B U T .....Let an outsider step in and make a comment or say something toward one of us and see how many "Brothers" are there at your side.....It truely is a brotherhood....Let it be known that someone needs help...maybe financially, maybe emotionally, maybe just help bringing in wood or working on a car....Watch as I did and see how many are there for him/her...even without a request for help....Let a Brother pass away.....We will NOT leave him until he is interred, we are there with him the whole time...even in death we don't desert or Partners / our Brother....I am proud of this Family that I Volunteered to join and am proud that I have been accepted as one of them.....As I state at every post here...Always remember to Keep the Faith......Paul

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Permalink Reply by 144Truck on February 18, 2009 at 10:20am

I have often written that my people are my number one priority.... We cannot fulfill our mission without them.

I will be the first one to tell you that I truly believe in the sibling-like bond between the brothers and sisters. We fight like siblings as well, sometimes.

We really try to help out our people when "One of Those" calls happens. We will offer CISD, and at the least sit down and try to talk it out.

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Permalink Reply by Dozin Dan on February 18, 2009 at 10:22am

I agree with all you say. We can all honestly say that we have fun, joke around, pull pranks, and yes when in need we are there for each other. That is not hurtful or harsh. It is when an officer put themself up on a the top and forgets where they came from. The "seasoned" veteran that does not give the time of day to a newbie. One definition of gentleness I found is states : the act of kindness through actions of one in an authoritative, or percieved authoritative role to one who is a subordinate. The don't kick a puppy scenario.

Maybe it is the "Redneck" world I live in, but it just seems that the tenderness I once saw for one another has diminished. We still help one another, but I do not see the encouraging as much anymore. I do not see the empathy as much anymore. When the tone sound, or a tragedy hits close to home are we one? Heck yes! There is an unspoken bond with in the service......across jurisdiction....across state lines......across scope of service.......across the big ponds to other nations this holds true, why else would we offer words and cards to the fallen FF' family at station and home.

Perhaps it is a handful of less than gentle people I see which stick in my mind, and I have been blind to the good happening around.

I am proud to be a volunteer FF also. I do it for the community, not for the glory.

Thanks for making me continue to look deeper!

-Dan

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