ADVICE

when you all work fatal accident what can you do to keep it from bothering you cause i workd one yesterday where a tracTOR TRAILER ROLLED OVER ON TOP OF A CAR AN KILLED THE DRIVER OF THE CAR ITS BEEN EATING AT ME SINCE IT HAPPEN I MEAN I LOVE THE FIRE SERVICE BUT THIS ONE BOTHERS ME MORE THAN THE OTHERS IS THERE ANY THING I CAN DO TO STOP IT FROM BOTHERING ME ANY MORE I MEAN MOST FATAL ACCIDENTS I HAVE WORKED HAVENT BOTHERED ME BUT THERES SOME THING ABOUT THIS ONE THATS BOTHERING ME

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Permalink Reply by Mike on February 10, 2009 at 10:12am

Talk to your fellow coworkers. When Calls Botter me, I half to talk about it, Don't let it eat at you...

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Permalink Reply by Tim on February 10, 2009 at 10:16am

Talk to your Chief about getting some kind of crisis couseling .

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Permalink Reply by rfdjumper on February 10, 2009 at 10:36am

Did you put the victims in that situation? No. So talk it out with your firefighter buds. It should ease your mind. Screw that "Kum Ba Ya" Crisis Team Bull Sh!t. I've seen people more F'd up after a meeting than before.

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Permalink Reply by David on February 10, 2009 at 10:54am

Hey I hope all is going well for you. You will have some that bug the crap out of you and others you just plainly emotionally numb to the situation. The best way I have found to deal with the ones that get under your skin is to think why it is bothering you, talk to your peers (alot of good fireman have went down the pipes because of this no sense in the macho thought of aww they will think I am weak mentality.) These peers and colleagues are brothers and sisters and will naturally want to help you through your emotions. Also talk to an officer that is expeirenced (old) usually these guys will do anything to pass knowledge and will also want to help you through seeing this is happend to them more than just a few times. Some calls will be extremely difficult to handle you just need some time to reflect and get your emotions out, get back in the saddle and do your best 100% of the time. Good luck brother stay safe and if you need anymore help or advice dont hesitate drop me a line.

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Permalink Reply by Moose on February 10, 2009 at 11:17am

Couldnt have said it better. Talking about it always helps. If it bothers you than talk it out, NEVER keep it inside, thats when you will do the most damage to both yourself and your family and friends.
CISD is a good tool, not for everyone but it does help start the process of understanding what happened. You have to realize that the accident was not caused by you, you were just there trying to help and that in no way were you actions the cause of the fatality. Some things you can not change, and you have to move on to help the next person that calls.
I will send you a PM later, I have some other ideas to help you out, I have been in your shoes more than I care to admit and know how to deal with it. I would be glad to help you.
Stay Strong and safe.

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Permalink Reply by BillySFCVFD on February 10, 2009 at 11:23am

Jonathan,

You should feel proud that you responded when needed. You volunteered to help the public and that is what you did. Like the others said, you did not cause what happened and talk to the "old" guys on your VFD. Keep the faith. TCSS

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Permalink Reply by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on February 10, 2009 at 12:09pm

So, what is it about this one that is bothering you?
Why is it different from the others?
It will help you to understand it better if you know what it is that is bothering you.
Art

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Permalink Reply by turk182 on February 10, 2009 at 12:56pm

We all have calls that still bother us it just goes with the job the best thing you can do is talk to your fellow fire fighters and get it out. The more you bottle things up the worse it will eat at you and it will make you either not want to go to calls or it will distract you when there.

Some of the bad calls will stick with you always and some will seem to fade away just be open and talk with your friends and family and it may ease what you are feeling.

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Permalink Reply by Engineco913 on February 10, 2009 at 1:29pm

CISD. Free and confidential.

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Permalink Reply by John on February 10, 2009 at 2:16pm

Talk to coworkers the captains or LTs and see if there is a CISD you can attend, just make sure you talk to someone about it Brother don't keep it in.

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Permalink Reply by Lt. Ballinger on February 10, 2009 at 5:58pm

I have been there. The best advice has been given already. Talk to the other people who were on the call, your chief, crisis team, whoever you trust. But I would try to figure out what about this situation is different so you can find a way to deal with it if it ever happens again. Hell all of us have been there, some more than we care to remember but we found our way through it and we will be there for you if you need us.

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Permalink Reply by Randy on February 11, 2009 at 5:44am

If you're in this service,the cold hard facts are GET OVER IT.It may sound mean,but you cannot do your job if you let runs like that affect you.After 30 yrs in the service ,I have seen everything except a sucking chest wound.I have a door in my mind that I lock all the bad ones behind.I don't open it for anybody,not even for me.Do the run and move on to the next one.I am lucky enough to have my partner(she's a medic) to talk to when I need to,which helps,but we don't dwell on it too long.Get it out and move on.