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how do you relate to people, your family friends or dates who are not in ems/ff and dont understand your passion for it. or the humor lol
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jenny Holderby on
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My closest & dearest friends either ARE or have been fire fighters in the past. I don't remember what its like to NOT be around a FD. I am married to a ff. My mom had 5 kids. At one time there were 4 of us on the FD. When my younger sister got married & had children, she quit the FD but was still around & was married to a FF. Momma then had 3 kids & 2 son-in-laws and a nephew on the FD. The sister that has never been in emergency services or married is married to a business man and is very supportive of the rest of us & comes to functions. She is used to the house clearing out when the pager goes off & has come out to help feed the crews or bring hot drinks or water. The rest of my family, aunts & uncles & cousins think its pretty cool, especially when we respond to their neighborhood. I've heard them bragging to their neighbors that their cousins are there & point us out. One of our uncles volunteered for a whlie in another department & decided it wasn't something he wanted to do but he gained a lot more respect for us.
My nephew, the only "normal" kid who doesn't have @ least 1 parent who is a fire fighter is very interested in it. He is on the safety patrol @ his school. I think he gets it better than his parents do.
My co workers @ my REAL job often don't understand why I do what I do but they respect it even though they wonder how or why I come to work tired after being out during the night. They understand when I take my vacation time around fire schools & events. We rotate weekends so if I ask someone to switch with me so I can go to training or events they are pretty good about it. I only do that if/when it is really important or training I can't get @ another time. They know that.
I have friends who ask why I do it & say that they wouldn't do what we do if they weren't getting paid for it. They wonder why I often put myself in what they consider "too much" danger & say they couldn't live like that or they don't see how I do it or why I spend so much of my FREE time working for the FD and in training. I don't discuss it much with them but they usually understand when I have to cancel plans @ the last minute. Some ask if I am ever going to stop chasing fire trucks & ambulances. Most encourage me & ask if they can help with anything. One of my friends always calls me or leaves something on MYSPACE for me when she hears about our calls. Another isn't a FF but is now an EMT & a 9-1-1 dispatcher & envolved in the county Emergency Management services.
I guess over the years I have realized that the quantity of friends isn't as important as the quality of them. If they don't know why, they don't know me. If I'm not important enough to them for them to try to figure it out, they don't remain friends for long.
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Permalink Reply by Michael Vito on
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Me too, Jenny.... people of less/no exposure on emergency stuff. Doesn't understand on what we do.
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Permalink Reply by lutan1 on
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The "black humour" is the one you have to watch- for us, it's a coping mechanism, for others it's just sick and cruel...
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True. For some reason most people either think a VFD is a social club that you choose what you want to do OR they think it is much too dangerous. Things that are common for us are outrageous to them. Seeing a little blood really really upsets some people.
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Permalink Reply by Sonia on
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Well I was in the other side until 8 month ago. And I try to relate to my husband the Assistant Fire Chief by been involve in the Fire Department. So I started the Wamego Fire Department Auxiliary. It made it a little easier that I was in the military before, so I was use to the dry humor.
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Permalink Reply by anne potter on
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My husband grew up in a city and had never belong to any thing so.. He now knows when the whistle blows get out of the way honey.. I love ya but will run you over if in my way.lol My family all involve in the feild one way or another...
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Permalink Reply by Jenelle on
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It is hard at times to relate to others who cannot relate, I am quite lucky I had a family member become an emt just for me so that she could relate.....but if they are willing to try and understand.....then it is easy....That make any sense?
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Permalink Reply by Fire Chick on
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no one in my family was involved in fire or ems but i grew up 2 house away from a fire deptment and me and my friends spent alot of time there.. they had a pool table we could shoot pool and and all the guys were always up there they would show us the trucks tools how all the tools work and they would tell us stoires about me out on calls and ems was located in same building..then when i was 17 my cousin joined because her boyfriend was in the fire department. and few months later she talked me in to joining.. i quit for a year because i was to busy to make anything,but i rejoined and i love it... i have since become and emt.. i have a great job doing that.. at the start of the new year i will be 1st lt. and cant wait.. i plan on doing this as long as i can...
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no one in my family was involved in fire or ems but i grew up 2 house away from a fire deptment and me and my friends spent alot of time there.. they had a pool table we could shoot pool and and all the guys were always up there they would show us the trucks tools how all the tools work and they would tell us stoires about me out on calls and ems was located in same building..then when i was 17 my cousin joined because her boyfriend was in the fire department. and few months later she talked me in to joining.. i quit for a year because i was to busy to make anything,but i rejoined and i love it... i have since become and emt.. i have a great job doing that.. at the start of the new year i will be 1st lt. and cant wait.. i plan on doing this as long as i can...it is very hard realting to people who dont do what i do ro dont understand why i do it.. they want to help people but not by going out and risking their own life... my thoughts are you dont know how long your going to be here so why not do something good and have fun while doing it while you are still here.... live life day by day
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Permalink Reply by Patience Ryan on
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It depends on who I'm trying to relate to. My friends who are nurses or otherwise in medical stuff...we relate just fine. My immediate family tries real hard to understand. my mother being one who tries the pass out at the mention of blood things get really 'sanitized' for. My father was in a sports med/physical therapy field in college so he gets most things. My brother...he's navy. lol now extended family has not really even tried. I'm an EMT-B as well as a Fire fighter, and in family situations I get the 'you're not a Dr so you don't know anything' response in relation to any medical issue. Of course I think there is still the issue of my aunts and uncles seeing me as a little child too. So the 'this is what I do and I really like doing it' conversation doesn't go over all that great. I don't know if it's been a help or a hindrance in that regard that I started in EMS while away at college. So, there most of my friends were either in it too or around me when I got into it, so it's not as big an issue with them. Even my roommates put up with it all.
as far as humor goes? I try to keep that in the circle of friends in EMS or Fire. Sometimes my nurse friends will understand it too. Better not to go there with family, though my grandmother does get it when she's not been drugged to the gills. Also, to go with the whole family thing I'm the first in my family in Fire or EMS outside of my great uncle. Anyone else that is or was is like 3rd or 4th cousins at the least. I'm a third generation Postal Service employee, so that's the 'family business' if you will.
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Permalink Reply by Paul Montpetit on
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I have actually had some that tell me how "dumb" I am for all the time I put in.....I respond by telling them that there are people that give back to their communities and there are people that try and suck their communities dry....then I ask them which one they are.....Usually gets my point across......My family is very understanding....My little girl actually came up to me once gave me a big hug and a kiss and told me she was proud that her "Daddy" was a Fireman......Who could beat that...?? Stay safe all....and always remember to Keep the Faith.......Paul
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Permalink Reply by Jared Lelaidier on
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Well my non firefighter firends dont get it at all but they have yet to realize what they want to do till the day they die or cant get into the truck anymore. They also dont get the ways I cope with some of the things we deal with my way is humor they think its sick but I dont tell them that much anyways. But my mom worked trauma as a RT for years so Im use to her stories and I think she likes the idea of me getting my emt and working on people but my dads is the person who doesnt like the blood kinda funny to me. The soon to be wife I just about drive her nuts talking about fire but she about drives me nuts talking about her new purse's and she isnt bothers by any of the storeis but I try to keep her out of the loop small town you know most of the time I go to a call I know who they are. But I think everybody will hear the "basement saver" type BS but most of them just hate the fact we do something we love and they work in a place they hate so I just correct them and let the know we put inground pools in. haha
They will never understand any thing else we tell them.
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