JOKES

Here is a good one and if you have any pass them on ...........This supervisor called one of his employees house one morning when she was late . The phone rang a couple of times and a child's voice wispered "hello" . "Is your mother home ?" he asked . "Yes." said the quiet voice . "Can i speak with her ?" he asked . "No ."said the little voice . Confused he asked "Is your daddy home ? ". "Yes ."came the reply . "Can i speak with him?" he asked ? "No." came the reply . Disturbed he asked Is there any one else home ?" "Yes the policeman is here." came the reply . Really worried now he asked"Can i speak with him ?"No he is busy." replied the quite voice . "Busy doing what ?" he asked . "Talking to mommy , daddy and the firemen ." came the reply . It was then that he could here the baying of dogs really worried he asked "What is going on there ?" "They are searching ." the small voice said . "What are they searching for?" he asked . "Me ." said the quiet voice with a giggle .

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Permalink Reply by Damon Dyer on October 5, 2008 at 7:42pm

Ok we will miss ya .

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Permalink Reply by Justin Buck on October 5, 2008 at 9:45pm

Fart Joke
Revenge Is Sweet
There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"

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Permalink Reply by Justin Buck on October 5, 2008 at 9:57pm

Things never to say to a cop
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son.. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

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Permalink Reply by LT Lake on October 14, 2008 at 12:29pm

and when he asks if you know how fast you where going dont respond with "nope the speedometer only go up to 120 and i peg that before i shifted out of 3rd and into 4th" for some reason that doesnt seem to impress them as much as it did your buddy in the passanger seat

JOKES

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