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Firefighters not actually that hot: Poll
What is the world coming to?
By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter
The Municipal Firefighters Association took a hit yesterday with the release of a poll indicating that public confidence in the sexiness of firefighters fell sharply between January 2006 and December 2007.
Fully 91 percent of people questioned in December 2007 agreed that the Fire Department was “doing a good job of protecting and serving area residents.”
However, only 19 percent of the people who called 911 at the end of 2007 described the firefighters, on arrival to the site, as “sexy” or to “resemble Matthew McConaughey.” This number is down from 22 percent at the beginning of 2006.
Asked to describe the average firefighter, 62 percent of respondents selected either “short with a pot-belly and a mullet” or “old and bony with a bad moustache.”
Only 16 percent of women described the average firefighter as a “hunka-hunka-burnin’ love,” and only 13 percent of men selected “someone that makes me want to leave my wife and pursue a gay lifestyle.”
The poll also revealed that an alarming nine percent of all calls to 911 are made under false pretences as an excuse for a crew of sweaty, muscular men to come rushing to their doorstep. This is due to the widely-held misconception that, rather than the legal penalty of a $350 fine per vehicle, people found guilty of fraudulent calls receive a playful spanking by the firefighter of their choice.
Social groups responsible for the greatest discontent include desperate single women in their 40s and homosexual male firefighters across all income levels.
The poll results sparked outrage across the city, with one interest group threatening a lawsuit against the Firefighter’s Association, which is responsible for producing the popular Firefighter Calendar.
“This is a flagrant case of false advertising,” charged Rhonda Lopez, president of a citizens’ group called Cutie on Duty. “I don’t give a damn if the proceeds go to a good cause. [The Firefighter’s Association is] offering a product and they’re not delivering.”
Fire Department Chief Randall Myers, upon being shown the survey results, simply commented: “Fuck.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” he later added, “and these guys are volunteers. On the upside, this may bring down the number of fraudulent calls from people that just want a spanking. You’d be amazed how many of those we get.”
The poll, which was commissioned by the City of Toronto, costs $2 million annually and comes out of the city’s “essential services” budget.
: P.........It seems to me that the money that they spent on this poll could have actually gone to aiding the fire departments in this area>>>>>>>>>
What is the world coming to?
By Mondo Fernando, Staff Reporter
The Municipal Firefighters Association took a hit yesterday with the release of a poll indicating that public confidence in the sexiness of firefighters fell sharply between January 2006 and December 2007.
Fully 91 percent of people questioned in December 2007 agreed that the Fire Department was “doing a good job of protecting and serving area residents.”
However, only 19 percent of the people who called 911 at the end of 2007 described the firefighters, on arrival to the site, as “sexy” or to “resemble Matthew McConaughey.” This number is down from 22 percent at the beginning of 2006.
Asked to describe the average firefighter, 62 percent of respondents selected either “short with a pot-belly and a mullet” or “old and bony with a bad moustache.”
Only 16 percent of women described the average firefighter as a “hunka-hunka-burnin’ love,” and only 13 percent of men selected “someone that makes me want to leave my wife and pursue a gay lifestyle.”
The poll also revealed that an alarming nine percent of all calls to 911 are made under false pretences as an excuse for a crew of sweaty, muscular men to come rushing to their doorstep. This is due to the widely-held misconception that, rather than the legal penalty of a $350 fine per vehicle, people found guilty of fraudulent calls receive a playful spanking by the firefighter of their choice.
Social groups responsible for the greatest discontent include desperate single women in their 40s and homosexual male firefighters across all income levels.
The poll results sparked outrage across the city, with one interest group threatening a lawsuit against the Firefighter’s Association, which is responsible for producing the popular Firefighter Calendar.
“This is a flagrant case of false advertising,” charged Rhonda Lopez, president of a citizens’ group called Cutie on Duty. “I don’t give a damn if the proceeds go to a good cause. [The Firefighter’s Association is] offering a product and they’re not delivering.”
Fire Department Chief Randall Myers, upon being shown the survey results, simply commented: “Fuck.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” he later added, “and these guys are volunteers. On the upside, this may bring down the number of fraudulent calls from people that just want a spanking. You’d be amazed how many of those we get.”
The poll, which was commissioned by the City of Toronto, costs $2 million annually and comes out of the city’s “essential services” budget.
: P.........It seems to me that the money that they spent on this poll could have actually gone to aiding the fire departments in this area>>>>>>>>>
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by lutan1 on
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The poll, which was commissioned by the City of Toronto, costs $2 million annually and comes out of the city’s “essential services” budget.
WTF??!! Now there's a good example of what not to do with money....
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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on
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Well, it's time to throw the bullshit flag here. The original article was written by Mondo Fernando, and a quick Google search revealed another one of his expose articles:
http://punditonline.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/study-shows-kangaroo-a...
Lutan, do they indeed have alcoholic kangaroos down under? If so, hell I'll buy them all a round.
I fear we've been had.
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hhhmmmm.....
No drunk roo's here, or if they do drink, they do it responsibly and stay home....
Good find Joe! (I'll unsubscribe from this post now...)
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Permalink Reply by sweetfire203 on
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no kidding i put it on here and i was had too !!!!!! Sorry all i just thought that it was rediculous and wondered what everyone else would think of it too........ didnt mean to cause a stink!
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if you read the post it does say at the top that it was written by him. i was just looking for articles on fire departments and found it thought i would see if everyone had the same reaction i did. I didnt know it was bs.
Thanks for finding that out for me though.
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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on
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No harm done, in fact I had a good laugh! Stay safe!
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Well, you SAY no harm done Brian; but WestPhilly can't go around chanting "I'm too sexy for this thread" anymore... poor guy.
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Permalink Reply by Jenny Holderby on
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hahahaha the thread is OVER & he is STILL too sexy. . .
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Sexy is, as sexy does...
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And Jenny thought this thread was over...LOL
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Permalink Reply by Ben Waller on
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Siren,
It was posted on the internet, so is HAS to be true...right?
You're my hero, BTW, and I don't have many heros.
(Note that "hero" is a generic term, not gender-specific, and not intended to be offensive to anyone, any group, or to generate any controversy.
Oxen, herds and herds of oxen.
Ben
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