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Only a Southerner Knows - Reference for those above the Mason/Dixon line
THis is just cute & I had to pass it along. I had a chat with someone the other day who said I sounded VERY SOUTHERN. Ok, Southern OHIO. I was @ a class once where 1 instructor was from New York & the other from North Carolina. I understand both languages.
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful breakfast foods; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know y'all got here as fast as y'all could
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful breakfast foods; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know y'all got here as fast as y'all could
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sara Hall on
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Im from the north...but i wish i was from the south...my family is down there...and i have a slight southern accent lol...yes i know...one day imma be a full on southern girl...being southern ain't nothin to be ashamed of...
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Permalink Reply by Reg Mathis on
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I was bred born and raised in the South and I think the post is extremely humorous! And extremely accurate!! And if anyone finds it offensive, get over it!!
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A few more phrases that might come in handy for anyone wishing to learn to speak Southern:
It's comin' up a cloud(It is on the verge of raining, perhaps severly)
It's hog-killing weather(Extremely cold)
One of us is fixin' to tote a whooped-ass home(This issue of our disagreement may be decided by physical altercation)
And "down here", we have many ways of expressing the perceived level of sanity/intelligence of any given individual. Some of these expressions are:
He/She is "turned funny"
He/She is "about a half a bubble out of plumb"
"The cheese done slipped off of his/her cracker"
"He/She has "snakes in his/her head"
And we don't eat yams, we eat sweet 'taters. Except on Thanksgiving, when the proper application of corn syrup, molasses and marshmallows magically changes them to "candied yams". But on December 1st, they revert to sweet taters!
And a co-cola can be any flavor of carbonated, non-alcoholic beverage.
Depending on the response, we may have another lesson, later.
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Permalink Reply by Jason on
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I wasnt born in the south i was born in Ohio then mover to South Carolina..we i have lived for17 years and i talk like a southern i uyse yonder and down here, by hearing me talk you wouldnt know i wasnt born and raised in SC..I also love me some sweet tea...but i dont like grits,or sweet taters.and i didnt see anything wrong with you post Jenny i liked it..perdy funny
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Permalink Reply by John on
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I was born in SW Ohio to 2 parents born in Kentuckey so all those terms I am very familiar with, and have heard them quite often while growing up.
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Permalink Reply by Nicholi69 on
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Mr. Walker get over yourself i am a True southerner and i was not offended here is my two cents if it wasnt for people like you always worried about offending people then this country wouldnt be in the shape it is. Freedom of speech means If you are offended by it dont read it and get over it im offended everyday by the liberal media so i dot watch it
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Permalink Reply by Jenny Holderby on
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From Mr. Waller's profile, he was actually born & raised in the Carolinas & Tennessee so maybe it is ME he doesn't like. I am from Southern OH myself. People have made comments about a southern accent in Columbus & other places in OH & in MD & DC. Thanks guys for agreeing with me but lets not get too personal. As I said it was totally intended as humor. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings or come of as mean & bitchy.
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Permalink Reply by Justin Buck on
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right on
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Permalink Reply by Damon Dyer on
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I am feeling kinda low how about some of that banana puddin ?
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Don't fret none sister you did us no harm and it was pretty accurate . No matter what you put on here someone will try to bite ya and others will come to the rescue .
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Permalink Reply by Trainer on
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I modified my previous post, I’m a northerner with family in the south, when I go down there, they not only make fun of the way I talk, but make fun of the way they talk, anyways I may have gotten a little personal and for that I apologize
Sent this to my brother in Knoxville, pronounced Knoxvull, he though it was funny as hell. As a great southern gentleman once said to northerners; your going to be surprised when you get to heaven, and St.Pete say’s, Y’all hop in the truck, were goin to the big house.
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Permalink Reply by BillySFCVFD on
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I'll take all the blame with my "sexist" northern/southern girl comment. My bad and apologize. Still funny though.
I hope that if Jenny's post offended anyone they would speak up and not say it might be offensive to some people. Where are those people? Let them speak up. I have not heard them and I doubt if they exist. Let's all tell FF jokes, can't think of any, but if I hear one that is true like this post, I will laugh. Ya'll take care ya hear. Learned that watching the Beverly Hillbillies. I'm sure their reruns play in the South and all over the world and entertain many people.
TCSS
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