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The trials and tribulations of dating in the profession
As a new non-firefighter member here I have come to learn many a thing about having a romantic relationship with someone that has chosen this profession. That is actually why I decided to join...as a means of getting advice and opinions about being with a firefighter/EMT/soon to be police officer.
What I have found is that I do have what it takes to be that special someone to an admirable man of this profession. It doesn't quite seem I am the one for this particular man however I know I can be for someone else.
It takes patience like you never thought you ever had before. He will shut down emotionally with you and please do not take that personally. The horror he sees, and she for that matter, is beyond your grasp. He does not want to burden you with that, it is his to carry. He has a family within the firehouse that understands him and while you may not in time you will. This will be unlike any relationship you have ever had in your lifetime.
It truly does take a very special woman to be the woman standing strong behind her firefighter. There will be nights or even days he comes to you and wants nothing but silence and to be held...give him that, he will appreciate you more and more every day.
Don't hesitate to talk to him about your relationship though also if you feel there are problems or issues. Just please don't yell or scream at him...approach him with love and respect.
What he has done with his career choice is something to be admired and respected. There aren't too many people in the world that would risk their own lives to save a total stranger. Firefighters truly are non-selfish human beings.
Love them!!!
What I have found is that I do have what it takes to be that special someone to an admirable man of this profession. It doesn't quite seem I am the one for this particular man however I know I can be for someone else.
It takes patience like you never thought you ever had before. He will shut down emotionally with you and please do not take that personally. The horror he sees, and she for that matter, is beyond your grasp. He does not want to burden you with that, it is his to carry. He has a family within the firehouse that understands him and while you may not in time you will. This will be unlike any relationship you have ever had in your lifetime.
It truly does take a very special woman to be the woman standing strong behind her firefighter. There will be nights or even days he comes to you and wants nothing but silence and to be held...give him that, he will appreciate you more and more every day.
Don't hesitate to talk to him about your relationship though also if you feel there are problems or issues. Just please don't yell or scream at him...approach him with love and respect.
What he has done with his career choice is something to be admired and respected. There aren't too many people in the world that would risk their own lives to save a total stranger. Firefighters truly are non-selfish human beings.
Love them!!!
Add a Comment
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Comment by Lawrence W on May 19, 2008 at 1:04pm
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Siren,
As usual, you have a grip on reality, and I like that.
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Not all folks that are involved in the fire service have their heart and soul in what they do. Unfortunately, there are those that are in it for a paycheck, something to do, a way to meet people, a way to impress people or a myriad of other things that have nothing to do with public service. This applies to career and volunteer personnel alike.
On the other hand, there are those of us that just want to serve, to give back to the community that has given so much to us. Through training and experience we give back the best of ourselves. As siren stated, this is in varying degrees for each individual. Some it is a matter of convenience, others will drop anything and everything when the siren sounds. Some train when they feel they "have to" and others train at every opportunity. Whatever the case, being a Firefighter, Emergency Medical Technician or other emergency responder of any kind doesn't make the person anything that they were not capable of before. Emergency Service is what the individual makes of it. We are a summary of our parts and just like any other organization, we have the entire spectrum of people in our midst.
As with other professions and other organizations, the individuals are imperfect. We look at the world the same way anyone else does, through our personal experiences. Sometimes, these experiences leave us a bit jaded. As you stated, Heather, you have not seen some of the things that Siren describes. If you become involved with the department, or one of it's members you will gain the insight that you have so far missed out on. We are human, just like any other. We make good decisions and bad decisions. We make mistakes. These things happen both in the department and in our personal lives. That's life and we all live it.
Most importantly, it is not the department that makes the person, it is the person that makes the department.
I do wish you the best in whatever track you take, and I am not discouraging your involvement with a firefighter. I am just asking that you be prepared. Dating a firefighter doesn't make the relationship work.
As you said in your original post, "It truly does take a very special woman to be the woman standing strong behind her firefighter." I have to agree with you there. There will be times he comes home quietly as your post indicated. These times he may need you to be right there for him. Also, be prepared that some come home fighting mad and throwing things. It all depends on the person you are dealing with and the stress that person has had to deal with. I personally have done both. Sometimes, you just have to know when to stay out of the way...
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Comment by Heather on May 18, 2008 at 9:07am
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Siren-
That is a side I have personally not yet seen. I am sorry to hear that there are those out there that are doing it for the wrong reasons I suppose.
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Thank You.
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Comment by Matthew Jones on May 18, 2008 at 5:55am
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Your a good woman Heather
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Comment by Jason on May 17, 2008 at 2:42pm
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Well said
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