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I'm Terrified of Loosing Him.
Maybe someone out there can help me with what I am going through. I am a new MOM to a NOW full time Firefighter. My son is 18 and has been involved with the fire house since he was 13 but has been around the fire house since he was 6. He is a 3rd generation fireman. He just made firefighter 1 and will take it as far as he can and is going for his Paramedic as well. He called me at work today and was telling me about his first structure fire and how he was 3rd man in, and I had to stop him. I told him I had to go as I was still at work. I could not listen anymore. I know that this is all he has ever wanted to do since he was a little boy and hung around the firehouse with his grandfather and father. Everyday after school and baseball and football practice that is where you could find him. He was an honor roll student all through school, broke high school pitching records left and right. He is an all around amazing Man.
I am so afraid of loosing him to a fire that I just can't listen to his excitement of him telling me about his calls. However, I am ever so proud of his accomplishments and just don't know how to tell him that it terrifies me to no end that he has chosen this as a career. When I questioned him about his decision, he questioned me, as I belonged to the same firehouse when I was in high school. I was a cadet myself. So I really have no room to talk. However I went down a different road into the medical field and left the fire house. I tried that avenue with him with no luck as you can see. I love my son more than life itself, and don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. I also know how much firefighting means to him. It's in his blood, it's who he is, what he does. It chose him.. He is a loving, caring, giving understanding Man. He tells me that if he goes in a fire, at least he will have fulfilled his purpose in life. Now how do argue with that? He lives in Connecticut and I live in Virginia. We talk every morning and every night, and sometimes during the day if he has a call. We are very close.
So, Is there any advice for a new fire Mom? How do I listen to the excitement in his voice, and tell him that I am happy, when inside I am crying. And when we hang up, I sit and cry and thank God for not taking him. Does it get Easier? Will the crying stop?
Thank You for listening.
Michele
I am so afraid of loosing him to a fire that I just can't listen to his excitement of him telling me about his calls. However, I am ever so proud of his accomplishments and just don't know how to tell him that it terrifies me to no end that he has chosen this as a career. When I questioned him about his decision, he questioned me, as I belonged to the same firehouse when I was in high school. I was a cadet myself. So I really have no room to talk. However I went down a different road into the medical field and left the fire house. I tried that avenue with him with no luck as you can see. I love my son more than life itself, and don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. I also know how much firefighting means to him. It's in his blood, it's who he is, what he does. It chose him.. He is a loving, caring, giving understanding Man. He tells me that if he goes in a fire, at least he will have fulfilled his purpose in life. Now how do argue with that? He lives in Connecticut and I live in Virginia. We talk every morning and every night, and sometimes during the day if he has a call. We are very close.
So, Is there any advice for a new fire Mom? How do I listen to the excitement in his voice, and tell him that I am happy, when inside I am crying. And when we hang up, I sit and cry and thank God for not taking him. Does it get Easier? Will the crying stop?
Thank You for listening.
Michele
Add a Comment
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Comment by Megan Brown on April 21, 2008 at 1:24am
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You sound like my mom. I've learned not to share stories with my mother and she's stopped asking. She has however met all the guys I work with and that makes her feel better knowing that I have a great group of individuals who will back me up without a second thought. It sounds as though he has a good head on his shoulders and will most likely keep himself out of trouble!
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Comment by David Johns on April 11, 2008 at 12:43pm
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I am a Dad ,just reading your post I think you know he has a good head on his shoulders and coming to you to talk says you have a great relationship,keep it going! Third generation! he will be alright, something will get him someday but it probably will not be the firefighting!
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Comment by joe on April 10, 2008 at 9:32pm
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where at in ct . i am in ct, am a volunteer in a good size dept. and a volunteer lt of the company. don't worry you know that he was going to get in to just like his father and grandfather . i mine self is 3rd gen fireman. with uncles and cousins on both paided and volunteer fire dept. you know as well as the rest of us that it is a risk that we all take . best of luck to you and him stay safe
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Comment by Dan Morriss on April 10, 2008 at 11:41am
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He is following a family tradition and a dream. Being a firefighter is a calling and its not for everybody. My mom has asked me early on to not tell her any stories. I honor that, but she knows that wahtever comes I am and will always be a fireman. Talk with him and let him know that his stories only cause you heartache. He'll understand and appreciate that you care so much about him. Good luck.
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Comment by Doug on April 10, 2008 at 2:21am
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Oh, and ditto to what Sandy said. Even though I don't know your son, I got his back!!!
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Listen, don't question him about his decision, tell him how it makes you feel, but don't question him about it! It will be much less of an argument, and you will both feel better at the end of the discussion.
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You're a mom, mom's are supposed to worry.....
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Comment by Sandy on April 9, 2008 at 7:19pm
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Well as a fireman's wife I know 1st hand how hard the fear can be to deal with (read my latest blog on the subject if you'd like) but as a mother, I cannot imagine. All I can say is to try and focus on the positive things your son does to help others and not the negative "what if's" or possible danger. Most firemen are well trained and I can promise you this, your son's fellow brothers on the department will have his back 24/7. Pray Mom, that is about all any of us can do and be thankful for his training and support system that his department and you provide.
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