Today my service brought in a six year old boy who did not make it. I then went to work at the same hospital where I walked by his body several times and I begun to wonder why I put myself through this kind of emotional charade the ups and downs, When at work I walked by his body but did not know he was gone. He was alone everytime I walked by the bay and the door was closed but I did not think much of it. I am sitting here after finding out and wondering why I do it. Why have I made the decision to put myself through this for the rest of my life? Why am I choosing to do this to feel like this? I don't understand why I do this to myself why do I feel guilt when we lose a pt. when I know there was nothing I could have done. It just doesn't seem right.