1. You have the bladder capacity of five people.
2. You have ever restrained someone and it wasn't a sexual experience.
3. You believe that 50% of people of a waste of good air.
4. Your idea of a good time is a shooting or a car crash/rollover.
5. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.
6. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
7. You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection it's located at.
8. You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide....getting it right the first time.
9. You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
10. People flag you down on the street for directions to the strangest places....and you know where they are located.
11. You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.
12. You walk into social situations and people think it's high comedy to seize their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you Bill."
13. A weeks worth of laundry consists of five of the same pair of pants and five of the same pair of shirts, five pairs of underwear and five pairs of socks.
14. You've ever refered to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my Friday."
15. Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.
16. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
17. You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.
18. You have your weekends planned for a year.
19. If anyone has ever said to you, "There are people out there dying and you're in here eating lunch."
20. You believe unspeakable evil falls will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight