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EMS Laws #2
Mandatory meetings will be scheduled in the middle of your day off.
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
You will find a "EMS discount" one day before payday.
You will remain in perfect health until your days off.
No squad assigned to you will be clean or ever have a full tank of fuel.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
The oldest squad won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until practical recertification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions.
Perfect 10's only show up as patients when you are busy dealing with an ugly one.
Do unto others, but do it first.
Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway.
Your squad will only break down when you are running errands outside your call zone.
Waterproof boots aren't.
Freebies will only arrive at the station on your days off.
To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!
Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.
No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes another's idea........usually the Chief's.
If your squad's air conditioning is out, the patient will smell worse than a wet dog.
The supply officer has only two sizes, too large and too small.
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
The best things in the world are free--and worth every penny of it.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
The more a piece of equipment costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
You will find a "EMS discount" one day before payday.
You will remain in perfect health until your days off.
No squad assigned to you will be clean or ever have a full tank of fuel.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
The oldest squad won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until practical recertification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions.
Perfect 10's only show up as patients when you are busy dealing with an ugly one.
Do unto others, but do it first.
Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway.
Your squad will only break down when you are running errands outside your call zone.
Waterproof boots aren't.
Freebies will only arrive at the station on your days off.
To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!
Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.
No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes another's idea........usually the Chief's.
If your squad's air conditioning is out, the patient will smell worse than a wet dog.
The supply officer has only two sizes, too large and too small.
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
The best things in the world are free--and worth every penny of it.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
The more a piece of equipment costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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