So this week, we had an MVA involving one of my fellow firefighters, when we found him he was breathing six a minute and was rushed to the hospital, I was one of the first people to see him in the ICU on a vent and all I wanted to do was cry, but I stayed strong. Then we had a multi casualty fire, seeing those bodies wasn't the best sight I have ever seen. At the fire everything was normal, I felt fine but when I went to sleep that night, I had the most horrible dreams. All this past weekend I couldn't eat, sleep well, and I had these little crying spells. I dreamed about the people that were in that house, screaming for help. I know there was nothing we couldn't do, and we did everything and got there fast. It is just a little hard! Before the fire what happened to my other firefighter was already effecting me, so I guess the bad fire just added on to it. Then to top it off we had our chief quit this weekend and one of my fellow firefighters. That firefighter seem to take the last fire pretty bad. Now they are trying to change the whole department around and for one minute can we just slow down because there is so much already going on. I still love my job and I love to help people. I am just starting to get better and can finally sleep at night without waking up in a cold sweat. And this is all my fire department life, I don't even want to start with my bitter divorce! oh well life will go on, and I know god will only give me what I can handle. Remember if the world didn't suck, we would fall off!