I wish you knew

What I wish people knew about EMS, Firefighters, Dispatchers and Law Enforcement.

I wish you could know what it is like to search a burning bedroom for trapped children at 3am, flames roling above your head, your palms and knees burning as you crawl, the floor sagging under your weight as the kitchen below you burns.

I wish you could comprehend a husband's horror at 6 in the morning as I check his wife of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring her back, knowing intuitively it is too late. But wanting her husband and family to know everything possible was done to try to save her life.

I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of soot-filled mucous, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames crackling, the eeriness of being able to see absolutely nothing in the dense smoke.

I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor pronounces dead the beautiful five year old that I have been trying to save the past 25 minutes, who will never go on her first date or say the words "I love you mommy" again.

I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a call-"What is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life-threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a 2x4 or a gun?"

I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine or unit-the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the air horn chain, as you fail to yield the right of way. When you need us however, your first comment upon our arrival will be "It took you forever to get here!"

I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage years from the remains of her automobile. "What if this was my daughter, sister, or friend? What is her parent's reaction going to be when they open the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?"

I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.

I wish you could know how it feels dispatching officers, firefighters and EMT's out and when we call for them and our heart drops because no one answers back or to here a bone chilling 911 call of a child or wife needing help.

I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally and sometimes physically abuse us or belittle what we do, or as they express their attitudes of "It will never happen to me."

I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain of missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have seen.

I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping save a life or preserving someone's propert, or being able to be ther in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.

I wish you could understand what is feels like to have a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is Mommy okay?" Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say.

Or to have to hold back a longtime friend who watches his buddy having CPR done on him as you take him away in the ambulance.

Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are or what our job really means to us-I wish you could though. And when you start to say "No one makes you do that." Stop and think where this world would be if everyone had that attitude.

One day we could be saving your property or life, so when you see us coming with lights flashing and siren blaring move out of the way quickly and pray for us and whoever needs us.

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