1. You have the rights to an ass-kicking.
2. You have the right to have a priest and/or an EMT present at the
time of the ass-kicking.
3. If you don't have a priest, one will be appointed free of charge,
to read you your last prayer, after the ass-kicking!
A fire police officer was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed
appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the officer kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on
his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors
hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his
hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in
large black letters was the sentence.
"Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave the wrong directions to
You need to take this detour and....
1. No, I don't care who you are.
2. No, I don't care who you know.
3. No,... you DON'T pay my salary, I am a Volunteer.
4. Yes... you CAN have my job.
5. No, I don't have anything better to do.
6. Yes, I DO put up with it alot.
7. No, I am not picking on you because you are __________ (fill in
any ethnic group/race).
8. No, I can't give you a break, thats the way you have to go.
9. No, I don't know your friend, Trooper __________.
10. Yes, I am sure you will make a phone call, after you follow the
11. Yes, I'm sure I will do it again.
12. No, we can't talk about it, there are 30 cars behind you.
13. Yes, it DOES make me happy to know I am # 1.
14. Yes, you WILL see me again.
Thank you, have a nice day.
Your friendly Fire Police Officer __________